woot woot! things have been in a whirl

Have been getting some regular work via Grant Wilfley and Central Casting. Even got gig from Liz Lewis for my first music video. Can't complain. Came off the summer finishing on Boardwalk Empire's second season, the year 1921, and have already seen myself twice! AiEEEEEE! It's so awesome! Several people, non-actors and fellow BGers, saw me as one of the protesting maids for the season 13 premiere (Scorched Earth ep.) of Law & Order SVU. I even heard myself, I was very featured, it was awesome.

I got a call for more background work, and found myself on Gifted Man (again I appeared on camera but crossing the street, oh well). I have been submitting for Nurse Jackie but nothing has come of it. I mean, I have scrubs, I can play a visitor, nurse, or patient. I could even do pedestrian again. I meet others that manage to get on that set and they tell me to just keep trying, and keep submitting. So I keep submitting.

Worked an unforgettable two days on Unforgettable. We're talking 15 hour days a piece. A lot of waiting around, in order for them to set up cameras to make the show as special as it is as the main character has something like photographic memory so a scene has to be filmed multiple times from different ways.

The spring and summer came and went. By the end of August, I had a week off, just to relax in time for the long holiday weekend. But I was itching. I wanted to keep the momentum going. I got another call from SVU, and off I went to play a basketball mom for a young teenager in a banquet scene. It was very nice, and they fed us, and the scene went well and the director was thrilled it went along smoothly and let us know it. We were even thanked by one of the main guest star actors, and we got to see some famous basketball players like Carmelo Anthony. The boys that were with me and other "mothers" were thrilled and starry eyed, it was funny to see.

Meanwhile, I kept submitting for roles. Went on auditions, and didn't put too much stress on myself for it. I had fun, and read my lines, and just went with it. If I didn't get a call within a week, I didn't stress about it. I would continue to submit for new jobs, and then I got some paid audience work so I wasn't about to have the time to dwell and brood over things. Got work on some independent films and was happy to have fun playing the curvy woman who shows up at the wedding kind of thing and just had fun.

Now I have an early morning calltime, and I had to go to a fitting over a week ago in order to go to this. It's been really exciting, but early morning call times can be a challenge. I have no idea how many people are going to be in the scene tomorrow but I am going to continue to be strong, stay focused, and stay positive.

Did I also mention I started doing the 1,600 a day for the month of November challenge? I couldn't even summon a 1,000 words, only over 600. I put it on draft. Sloooooowww beginning indeed.

quiet week

Although there have been postings, the most activity was yesterday to submit, the bottom line is, it's right before the holiday weekend so castings will slow down. At least this is what I am telling myself as this happened the last time right around Memorial Day. Can't believe it's already hitting on the Fourth of July weekend and I have no inclination to do anything special. Just can't muster the strength to go or do anything. Just want to rest under the covers with my dogs and have the television cable ready along with a tall glass of ice and soda. I don't even feel like eating to be honest, although I did break down yesterday and went to the supermarket to pick up some odds and ends. Food is just not that interesting to me lately yet I can't seem to lose any weight.

Did manage to water the container garden. The only thing showing right now is the basil. Sigh. Well, at least it's something.

Continue to look for work and also office work, got some leads. We'll see how it goes. Have to be ruthless about what I want as no one seems to be handing out anything to me, gotta earn it my self. As usual.

readying for the week

I am resisting. I have an audition for a weight loss show. At the time I wrote to them it seemed to be a pretty good idea. I know I am not camera ready but do not have the inclination or discipline to see it through to exercise every day. I'm too busy letting myself worry about how to pay the rent and this puts me in a negative mindset that is hard to break out of when there's the reality of bills every month or every week. As an actor, there are bills for paying for casting sites, that are a bit of a crap lottery in that you submit your ticket in hopes of getting your name called. Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't. There are bills for the occasional acting related class, whether it's a how to on submitting to casting agencies or an acting method. Then there's the whole being "camera ready" -- going to a gym to tone up and 'lessen' the body and going to a dentist to keep the smile bright and healthy, it all adds up. This is one of the few fields where you initially invest a ton of money and then hope for the best. It's like the stock market.

Back to life. There was little work last week. This week sounds a bit quiet. Feeling a bit unnerved although I shouldn't be, I should be grateful. I continue to submit but the posts are few and far between. Union members seem to be getting more of the gigs now, which is good, I would hate to pay thousands of dollars and sit at home waiting for the phone to ring then it hardly ever does. Talk about stock market...

So now I continue to look for work, keep myself busy somehow, and not worry. Most important. To not worry. Although I do find myself checking out the want ads for regular office work.

You know. Just in case.

The whole point of doing student films

The whole point of doing student films is to gain experience in front of the camera and to ACT. It is to have lines, build a character, and interact with other characters. It is NOT for me to stand around and color a background. I have been there, done that, and need to expand my experience. Telling me that you will provide "credit, maybe food" does not get noticed by future casting offices. Telling me that you will provide a "reel" when 99 out of 100 times I will never get it and you will lie to me about sending it or simply disappear or not respond, tells me that I really have to back off doing anything that is NOT really going to help me. I am all fine about helping you, but it needs to be a mutual helping here, a meeting of the minds so to speak. Don't lie to me or overinflate who or what you think you are or about your precious project that most likely will never see the light of day beyond a classroom assignment. And also don't try to entice me with words like "will be considered for future projects which MAY have pay" or "we'll remember you or keep you on file for future projects". What are the odds of what is otherwise a complete stranger coming back to me to offer me a more juicier acting role in the future in a film that WILL see the light of day beyond the high school or college campus? Buddy please.

Save us time and simply get to the truth. But if you do, be prepared to not get anyone to do what you want them to do. Especially for free and no pay off of any kind, professional or otherwise for them. Then call your friends and family and give them food and drink for taking time out of their own precious lives to help you make your dream come true. Because in the end, it's not about the talent, but about your own interests, fuck what can be done for us who in reality, are strangers helping YOU out.

I am simply tired of unprofessionals, greedy fucks and liars. May they all rot in hell.

jobs jobs jobs and the casting role that was taken away

I've been working background rather steadily the past several months, and can't complain. It's been a dizzying ride and what's great about BG work is that you never know what you are going to be and where you are going to go. One day I could be a high class patron of the arts, attending an opera, another day playing a homeless person standing in a line for a free meal, another playing a working class woman in the early 1920's. Costumes and clothing changes galore.

What have I learned from this? That working background means one has to be flexible and a bit of a gypsy, to pick up and go at any minute and have their phone on, charged and handy along with a working pen and their federal ID for tax purposes.

I have learned to pack, and pack light. I have learned to ask questions and not ask anything that might piss off the PA's or turn them off to giving me future work later. I try to come bright and positive, able to listen and follow simple direction without the crew having to repeat more than once. I learned to act even when I know the cameras aren't on me, because you never know if one is. I learned to not take things personally and roll with the punches. Because if I don't get this one, I'll get the next.

Then something new happens.

I finally snag a role, a speaking part, and it's for a nurse, and she has a name so it wasn't like nurse number three. The casting went so far to say "you know you had the role the minute you walked in," and I was surprised yet happy. I read for the part and casting advised that they were still working on figuring out people's roles, but that I had a part and to write them the next week as a reminder as to the where and when and time.

They gave me a date to write and asked me to remember to write them and I agreed. I left, practically floating on air. It was so easy! Was it like this for everyone who finally took that next step?

I waited til the day and wrote the reminder email saying it was a pleasure to meet them last week and per their instruction, asking about the call time and sides, giving my name and sending my picture in case casting forgot who I was. I got a thank you reply, and it gave the shoot location, the dates were established, but casting didn't know if they were going to need me for all the dates, and they still had yet to establish the roles for everyone.

I wrote back OK, and asked for call time, as that wasn't listed, and would await any further information. No answer back. Didn't think anything of it, but when it came to the day before the shoot date, I wrote an email, attaching the previous conversation as a reminder, stated I was looking forward to seeing them tomorrow and asked about call time and sides.

I was asked if I had scrubs, which I had told them I had during the audition, and reconfirmed that. They asked if I had shoes, I reconfirmed that, although I wasn't sure if it was white sneakers as most nurses wore with scrubs nowadays or some other white shoes. I had what they needed. The call time was sent back for 1 pm. Still no sides.

I wrote back thanks and see you then. No further word. The next day, I was awoken early by other members of the household, who were in their own mood. Nothing was going to ruin my day. I had plans and things to do. I showered, got dressed, and walked the one dog who was in the mood to go out. Put my hospital scrubs, white shoes, book to read between takes, my ID and a pen in a cute tote bag and called a cab to take me to the shoot location which was going to take place in an actual local hospital.

I got there twenty minutes early and since I hadn't eaten anything all morning, went across the hospital to grab a donut and a fruit smoothie and had a leisurely ten minutes to snack and sip the cold drink as today it hit 80 degrees.

Refreshed, I texted casting I was on my way, across the street from the shoot, and managed to locate security to take me where they were setting up. When I got there, there were at least seven or eight people, several in scrubs, standing around, munching on food. I noticed the scripts were situated on the desk of what would have been the nurses station, and looked them over as I did not see the casting person right away. A minute or so later the casting person was back with some food they placed in a dedicated area to replenish what was there. I went over and introduced myself.

I was then given a once over, and a "oh....which role were you cast for?" I mentioned I had read for the role of x, but had been told by them that they were still trying to figure who was what and would let me know. This casting person, who was the one who told me I had the role the minute I walked in, truly states that the role I was cast for was inadvertently given to another person. There was no other role, and they had apparently overbooked, more than enough people came. They were willing to pay me for my time, but that they would let me go.

I had never had a speaking role, nor did I ever experience having a role given to someone else. I thought it was odd I had to email to remind about call time and the sides, but given that casting is usually chaotic, it wasn't glaringly unusual. What got me was they had until the day before and even the morning of, to reconsider and just cut me loose instead of having me make the trek in a cab and block this time in my calendar for them for over a week and write them reminders like they wanted.

Casting walks me out, apologizing for the latest development, and I noticed that everyone was there before the 1 pm call time that I had been given. Casting stated they gave the role to someone who happened to be there early. WTF?

They offered to pay and I was initially waving it off saying, never mind, and just walk out without incident. Instead, casting insisted, which made me feel worse, and the person who "held the purse strings" came over, listening to the casting who stated it was "their fault" as if it was some grand gesture. The purse holder gave me the once over, said since I "didn't act" there was no need for a release form to be filled out, and handed the $50 folded together up in the air. I took the money, said thank you, and left, casting following me out apologizing, saying it was nothing personal, had nothing to do with me, and hinted as there might be further projects down the road...and hopefully... could you send an email. Ironic. I carefully sent them an email to 'keep me in mind', texted from my handy PDA. I was calm as a cucumber. As I never had this happen to me, I looked casting in the eye, nodded, listened, and said thank you. Like an idiot. Hmm.

It didn't rock me to the core but I was sad when I got on the bus to go home. In one way, I earned some money in fifteen minutes and in another, it was WTF? So as far as my first speaking role, the world ain't hearing me yet. It will, just not today.

I learned a statement: QTIP. Quit taking it personally. In this business, one has develop a thick skin and not dwell on why they didn't get a role. I just found this one particularly quizzical....and kind of tacky.

picking up

Audience work is nothing to sneeze at. Professional clappers, as a fellow audience member said. Totally true. Tomorrow have a wedding scene to do, BG work. Early call, 7:15 AM. Sheesh. That means I am out the door no later than 6:15 for a train, 6:30 for a taxi. It will be early enough for very little traffic, so the ride could be ten minutes long.

Boardwalk Empire finally called. I am beyond psyched. After two reschedules, the production finalized a film date. We had an afternoon call time, around 3 pm, and we were put through the process of getting our wardrobe, accessories and hair done. When the look was put together, along with a fabulous yet prim wide brimmed hat, it was...well, amazing. It was pretty organized, and we were fed as we waited for the sun to set before we finally got called onto the set. The set builders did a wonderful job. There was even sand to emulate the beach at the boardwalk, and for a minute I could smell the salty ocean air. We were positioned and we did take after take of simply walking and walking, strolling and enjoying the scenery, circa 1921.

Tomorrow I play a 'curvy' wedding guest YAY! Getting transportation for that, am thankful. Then there is the gig I got the confirmation on today for Saturday, for a re-enactment. I am to play a woman who gets caught up in a flood and has a younger man save her from drowning/being swept away. And the interesting news is that the young man who did the saving will be there to play himself, so I am wondering if he is going to be paid handsomely for this.

Thursday I go-see for a webseries. Friday a possible audience gig. Saturday is the re-enactment. Then Monday an audition for another webseries. Tuesday back at Boardwalk Empire. LOVING IT!

How to make it in America

Got an email from casting for this HBO show. Have no idea on what the show is about and had to do an IMDB search. Luckily I did not have to do too much on the wardrobe as it's exterior work and ND (non descript). Subway rider and possible work clothing, probably not much to carry, thankfully. Plus they're providing transportation, always a good thing.

Will fill this in when I get back. Early AM call to meet the bus, and even then, I'm always nervous before a gig and don't get a lot of sleep. Bathroom calls me. Later.

L&O SVU

Played a homeless person. This was interesting, because I was to stand in a food line, and then another scene I was to just walk on the sidewalk, past the 'bad guy' the 'cops' were following and past the cop car. So that was great.

Walking past the camera, I just quietly got into the whole idea of being homeless or hungry. I know what it's like to go hungry and I know what it's like to be without. Thankfully never homeless, but recalled some close calls. Mostly I could relate to hunger. My mind engaged, my body naturally followed. I hunched my shoulders, hugged my stomach, twirled a piece of my clothing in one hand, as if nervous. I wanted to hide, not be seen, felt the shame and the hunger.

And then I noticed that the camera noticed, and I was being slowed down for the camera work by the crew, being cued, and shuffling along, pantomining my "God bless you," nodding to the 'charity worker' who was handing out 'lunch tickets' by the church food entrance for us homeless people to get a plate of food to eat. It was funny because the first time we shot the scene, the woman seemed at a loss on how to deal with me, and she couldn't 'pretend' to hand me a ticket. Turns out she didn't have any and couldn't pretend, or wasn't sure if I wasn't truly a homeless person! Either way, we shot it again, she had the ticket, and I pantomined again, and this time she was ready with a ticket, and I shuffled along with it. We shot it a couple of more times, and they changed things around, this time with the Stabler character within earshot stating his lines 'investigating' about a man visiting the shelter to the 'church director'. That was pretty cool, getting to hear things live and be that close.

After shooting the two scenes, I felt a little lightheaded but didn't think anything of it, and walked back to set, and thinking perhaps I just needed to eat something and I'd be fine.

It was the first major warm day, the sun was beaming, and I was layered with clothing, including a fleece sweater, and I got a bit nauseous with a blazing headache and had to lie down. I was turning white as a sheet and trying not to shake as I went to the rest room to splash some water on my face.

I tried to rest and asked for some ibru. The headache moved from my head to stomach and I was queasy. The medic came back after one of the BG'ers noticed my color didn't look right, and I went to rest on the stage in holding, quietly, for twenty minutes. I kept apologizing to the PA's and hoped I didn't mess up their shot, but the PA said it was OK and not to worry and if I couldn't stay that was OK. The medic came back with some Gatorade which I mixed with regular water to sip, then when I felt better, signed some paperwork the medic said I had to fill out for him to record the incident, and then I was allowed to go home. I got a cab pretty quick and when I got home, I took a quick shower and crawled into bed with some ibru and after a little bit of food took a nap.

What a day! My first time ever being sick on set. Sigh.

Damages...now on DirectTV

This is going to be interesting. I'm going to be working on Damages and I don't know anyone with DirectTV in order to get a copy of the work. Perhaps I could just search online and hope Hulu or something will carry it. Damn. That is a really good show and it's a shame it's no longer on cable tv. Annoyed, because it's a really good suspenseful, well written show.

I submitted for some work over the weekend but so far no luck. Damn. Was really hoping to get some work in. Already looking and submitting for Monday.

Went to a SAG Foundation free seminar on commercial casting work, they opened it up for some non-union to come in, and that was great. It was slightly informative, and although there was some nudging from pushy union people wanting to bitch about why the work was less for union versus non-union, overall the vibe was talkative, and the four casting people on the stage were given some tough, interesting questions. The moderator, who is from Backstage magazine, actually used two of my questions, which was great. We had to write on white oversized index cards our questions for the moderator to choose to ask the CD's.

Overall, not a waste of my time. Although the article from Backstage, which listed the event, stated it was not a casting session and to not bring headshots, people still brought anyway. I did not bring my headshots, but I did have my business card, the one with my photo on it, so that was do-able, and I quickly crossed off the old number listed and jotted my new phone, just in case, and put the card in each waiting folder, four of them, for the four CD's.

I am glad I came with something portable and that I was prepared somewhat. I'm learning the game. What I came away with from the meeting -- I am glad that I do not assume union is to get me paying jobs, to pursue some classes and just be ready and accessible, try to anticipate as best I can and learn as I go, make contacts, and keep it moving...in other words, hustle, don't rest on your laurels, always look for the next paying gig and keep those acting skills up.

Looking to make money and checking every site I can think of. Went to an audience taping for a game show and got paid after sitting through and clapping and laughing through five shows, all being taped in one day. It was tiring but I got paid at the end of the gig and that is what mattered. I will put in for other gigs, keeping in mind what the head PA told us, wear color and be energetic. OK.

It's going on 3 am and I'm wired. Have to check in about 3 hours to find out what the new call time will be for Damages. Sigh. I think, what's the point of going to sleep? But I must try. Set the alarm for 6 am and cross my fingers for luck. Still have no idea what to wear, either, had to check out a quick online search to see how certain people dress for this scene I'm going to be in.

Just happy to know I'm working.

New Year's Eve - Garry Marshall movie

Got an email from casting asking about my working for two days next week as background for a, you guessed it, a New Year's Eve scene...in Times Square no less. Not the first time I've been involved with a Times Square film sequence as a BG'er, but I know it's going to be crazy. I've been submitting for stuff like crazy this week, got one audition, and it was in and out in a matter of five minutes. Didn't leave with a sense that I was going to get this gig. Sigh.

I see they're now asking for BG people for this. uh-huh. Meanwhile, my phone's silent. WTH?

Chase is on for more work...and back to the gym.

+++++++++++++++++++++UPDATE+++++++++++++++++++

Got the email to go. Psyched. Got to the gig, which was being held and filmed in Times Square. A LOT of extras. The first day there was some slimey element there, and some plain rude ones. One of the PA's lost it and started yelling when he saw us going to the hot food line and had to make a big show of it.

The second day of the gig went a lot better. The crowd had noticably thinned out and several of the slime element had also disappeared which was good. The other PA's had to admit and said it out loud to us that "this crowd was better than last night's" and they were pleased they were able to get stuff done a lot quicker because of it.

I know that the SAG element was called in for yesterday's filming. One of the BGers I was with sent an email that she had seen that things were set up when she went by the other day. I wrote back saying that sounds about right and about the SAG people would be filming.

Both dates were cold and the first night I suffered, because I hadn't layered properly. The second night, you better believe I layered everything. It was cold but I could handle it. A lot of standing around and repeating the New Year's countdown. Ryan Seacrest was there, so was Mayor Bloomberg and Bon Jovi playing a fictional singer named "Jensen". The Times Square New Year's ball was also utilized and dropped several times for the scene. It was pretty impressive. Both gigs were overnighters so we were out by like 3 or 4 in the morning.

There are more dates coming up. I wonder if I'll get an email. I continue to search for work.

Blue Bloods in Harlem

It was a quick slightly rainy day. We got there early, we were served breakfast, which was dubious -- fiercely determined runny eggs, half cooked scalloped potatoes, oatmeal and coffee. Everything was warm, so I didn't complain. I drowned the potatoes in ketchup the catering provided, and ate what I could. After about an hour, someone brought in a crate of small bottled waters, which I was grateful for and picked up two bottles, easily downed one and kept the other one with my rollie suitcase that held my two other clothing changes -- ah, the life of a BG actor. Have the wardrobe of a rich chameleon but receive for it the pay of a pauper.

Part of the scene was playing in a barber shop. It was amusing hearing the PA's chat amongst themselves the ratio of men to women in a typical barber shop in the city. I played a 'customer' reading a paper and just sitting there, and the second was being a pedestrian. It wasn't rocket science and it only took about five or six takes, it was great.

Mark Warhlberg (sp?) was there, and so was Jennifer Esposito, who was having a hard time cuffing the 'criminal' -- at one point, the cuffs flew out of her hands and the director yelled "cut!"

By mid afternoon, we were wrapped and I took a cab home to celebrate as it was nearby and I didn't feel like walking the twenty plus blocks home. I was floating and didn't care. It was a short day and I was going to get a check for it. Back in the BG game I am!

A Late Quartet

Worked an overnight BG gig as part of an audience attending "the last quartet" -- the scene including Christopher Walken, Phillip Seymour Hoffman and Catherine Keener. I'm a bit hyped as I type this because I got to see THE Christopher Walken, doing a walkthru of the scene, and his character's goodbye speech, a part of it, anyway. We filmed at the Met Museum which was awesome and my favorite museum. My night, as far as I was concerned, couldn't get any better. I wore a dark blue cocktail dress, had my hair on stunningly coiffed, and simple jewelry, along with a ring my grandmother gave me with nylons and black simple heeled shoes. It was just very interesting, to see this man act, and to see he looks very much like he does on t.v. and in the movies. So did Phillip and Catherine. But I was there for Mr. Walken. This is an intense actor, who can do this acting in his sleep. Other people make it so complex and operatic and it doesn't need to be, not every time, not in everything. Tonight's Oscar night, and it was, sadly, boring. James Franco didn't win, Social Network didn't win, and elder Hollywood still holds the balls. For now.

Met up with some BG'ers who are still doing this, which is surprising considering how long it's been since I've been out of the game, over a year, and yet here they were. It was a relief to see some familiar faces, and catch up over a bag lunch while SAG ate their catered hot food and drank their hot coffee.

As time went on, I was fighting falling asleep, as I was told Mr. Walken was looking my way, which I found hard to believe. But I think I might have seen him. Dunno. I was in a sea of people so I can't take it entirely seriously.

Was caught in the middle of a religious born again vs. esoteric discussion and got a headache listening to the drama. Never a dull moment in non-union holding.

Back to the Oscars. The ending had the chorus from a public school in Staten Island, sang Over the Rainbow. It was the most diverse moment I had ever seen, and a thought crossed my mind. Would these kids become the people who are the ticket buyers or ticket takers, not the ones who get to make it big in Hollywood.

Yesterday was playing music I hadn't heard in a while, and I still felt a little sad listening to it. But it was a reminder, a call to why I'm back to where I'm at, and why I need to pick myself up and dust myself off and start...all over again. It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life, like the song by Muse goes.

In six hours I need to be getting ready or be on the train to head to the next gig. Blue Bloods. We'll see how this goes. Putting in for Gossip Girl. Will fill you in as things come along.

things are looking up

And here I was thinking, "so much for doing any BG work lately." Working a day job for over a year had sucked the joy, time and energy of seeking out such work.

Just got the nod for a BG gig! It's an overnight gig, so I'm hoping I'm out by 6 am or 8 am, because I have an appointment at 10 am for the career counselor that I can't really afford to miss.

So exciting! It's going to be a gala at the museum scene, so I am pulling out my trusty dark blue cocktail dress, some jewelry, a change of clothing in case wardrobe hates the dress (don't think they will, it looks great on me and is perfect for a museum party scene) and some shoes. The shoes will be trickiest, as I tend to have what some call "school marm" shoes than strappy hot mama shoes. The hot mama ones aren't comfortable to stand in for 8 to 12 hours. I've tried, and it's not pretty.

Got an email inquiry for another BG gig, this one for later in the week and will shoot over several days, so that is exciting in itself. Things are starting to line up nicely. Will fill you in once things actually happen...