readying for the week

I am resisting. I have an audition for a weight loss show. At the time I wrote to them it seemed to be a pretty good idea. I know I am not camera ready but do not have the inclination or discipline to see it through to exercise every day. I'm too busy letting myself worry about how to pay the rent and this puts me in a negative mindset that is hard to break out of when there's the reality of bills every month or every week. As an actor, there are bills for paying for casting sites, that are a bit of a crap lottery in that you submit your ticket in hopes of getting your name called. Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't. There are bills for the occasional acting related class, whether it's a how to on submitting to casting agencies or an acting method. Then there's the whole being "camera ready" -- going to a gym to tone up and 'lessen' the body and going to a dentist to keep the smile bright and healthy, it all adds up. This is one of the few fields where you initially invest a ton of money and then hope for the best. It's like the stock market.

Back to life. There was little work last week. This week sounds a bit quiet. Feeling a bit unnerved although I shouldn't be, I should be grateful. I continue to submit but the posts are few and far between. Union members seem to be getting more of the gigs now, which is good, I would hate to pay thousands of dollars and sit at home waiting for the phone to ring then it hardly ever does. Talk about stock market...

So now I continue to look for work, keep myself busy somehow, and not worry. Most important. To not worry. Although I do find myself checking out the want ads for regular office work.

You know. Just in case.

finances

Got a call last week from an actual employment agency. A sign that the economy is improving...?

Was given a whole rundown on the job and what they were looking for, and my resume pretty much covers what they are looking for experience wise and attitude wise.

I gave my availability for this week to interview. So we'll see what happens.

The voiceover job never answered my initial response and question on pay rate. So I wrote again late last night to follow-up as the supposed time the job was to take place has since come and gone. I would say I'm disappointed, but money is something that needs to be discussed. It's an uncomfortable topic for some, but I'd already done some freebie work for them prior, and was not about to do it again without some form of compensation in return, it's only fair.

Money's tighter than ever.

What is that, I hear my inner voice say? Life is not fair. Oh well.

As Scarlett O'Hara would say, "I'll think about it tomorrow."

Several months ago, a discussion came up about how one could be misled or feel taken advantage of regarding pay rates for a background gig.

One of the actors who were made aware of this situation posted the rant of one of the BG'ers anonymously on their blog. I noted no one ever responded. Over time, this blog had gotten some notoriety as the blogger stated to several people that they had actually gotten contacted by the casting agencies involved with the particular gig/situation for other postings the blogger had done and had been told to revise what they wrote. When this blogger asked for advice on what to do on the revising issue (something about the freedom of speech thing) one of the pieces of advice given was that the blogger could write whatever they wanted, as long as it was true and they had the proof to back it up.

The blogger advised they had decided it wasn't worth the drama and said they had gone back and did the revise. Yet I didn't see much of a difference in the posts. One was particularly inflammatory to one person, and that post was taken down in its entirety. Other than that, there was very little tweaking of this blogger's observations if at all.

So back to this anonymous poster that the blogger put on their site. Turns out that several months later it makes an appearance, word for word, on a well known acting site. The person who wrote the rant was listed anonymously, but the reply from the contributing writer to the acting site really lit into this person, in essence saying their reasoning was skewered and at one point, an insult to the ones who came before us on what real employment bias is.

Suffice it to say, I immediately reached out to the blogger who had posted this rant letter months ago to find out what they thought. They were remiss in an actual opinion, only acknowledging that the letter was indeed from their source.

Then I noted it had been discussed at some length by the contributing writer with several others online before their response to the rant letter went to print. I'm sure the blogger is impressed. In one way it's exciting that this blogger is getting on the radar and has had casting agencies as well as major publications take notice of what they write. There is power in writing. In another way, it may paint them and the anonymous letter writer in a hole as far as future acting work.

Which leads me to the piece of advice I plan to stick to so I don't end up in a sticky situation. Be professional and nice to everyone because you never know who knows who.

So it will be interesting to see what comes out of this.

Fighting a nasty cold, relatives, finances, and career

This has been a worrisome time. I have not been able to do anything. I've been sick, tired, and now have another cold that came out of nowhere. Had to dip into rent money in order to pay for the medication. Now on top of feeling sick I'm worried about how I'm going to pay the rent.

This is not how I envisioned my life to be. This is not what I wanted. In the pursuit of going after what I want I find myself poorer than ever.

Frustrating.

Relatives are not helping. They are financially strained themselves. My finances are at a standstill. Save for a couple of lowly checks, I've had zero income this month. T says I've grown beyond background work. Yes, that may be right, but so far nothing has opened up to claim the money spot. So I look backward, towards my old secretarial career, in hopes that some money will start to roll in. Yet in this economic climate, it seems I couldn't have picked a worse time. Yet the news says the economy is starting to recover, so maybe it IS the best time.

A co-worker has extended some information about a possible temp company lead. Anything is better than nothing at this point. I need a life preserver tossed at me and fast. They will call on my behalf, which I am grateful for.

Just heard the door. T's coming with belated lunch. Although I can't taste anything, I do know I'm a bit hungry.