It's been an incredible year but being SAG-E tops the list of achievements. Getting that letter welcoming me to join was awesome!
Saving money to get in is another matter. I just don't have the funds, not even half of it. All my money goes to paying the rent and my phone bill and internet to keep getting work and I'm barely keeping my head afloat. If it weren't for living with family, I don't know what I'd do. Probably never give up the day job, I'm thinking.
So attending film festivals has been the new line of work I've been doing. Attended my very first red carpet last summer. So the movie wasn't seen in the main theater but an offshoot of the same building. So I didn't have a lot of attendees come -- the producer and writer didn't get people to come either. We went to subsequent film festivals, and it was becoming painfully clear that the so-called contacts just weren't coming. We did film fests in Jersey and New York City, the one in NYC was free and in Manhattan so readily accessible. Yet....it was a bit disheartening but I moved on, because I believed in the project and the producer and writer. I was proud of my work and involvement so why not?
In the end, all the publicity and reaching out to newspapers in NYC and Jersey led to only one college newspaper showing up and the producer disappearing to go get interviewed, leaving us all in the semi-darkness to fend for ourselves and welcome what few people who attended to thank them for coming and staying to view the film.
It was an experience and a learning experience, very valuable.
The next project I'm in is a short film, and that has just been accepted at a Jersey film festival, so I'm really excited about that, new project new people new producer and all that. And I have to make a trip to Atlantic City but that's all good. Going to show support and show my face for networking purposes I pray people will show up.
Another small film I am in is in post production so I still have yet to get a peek at the finished product. Meanwhile, I continue to submit for work, whether acting or day job, because the rent still needs to be paid whether I can get my creative ways to pay me or go work as a Brand Ambassador or office temp. Dealing with employment agencies has been heartbreaking, because you know you are not the only one looking for flexible work, but at the same time, telling them you are available for the next three months is just not an agency's cup of tea. They want to know you are only focused on them, so unfair but so be it. Somehow some people make it work so I know it's possible. I continue to focus on the dream and make it happen.
Monday, February 9, 2015
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
Just got an email
From the writer/director kind of ducking out of the film festival where the film had been made an official selection. The viewing is coming up in a week and the W/D is now messing with the transportation arrangements and how it would be expensive to attend the red carpet for the festival. And also seems to be encouraging that the actors rely on each other for transportation although this was already set and done by the W/D in the first place. So I'm like...whahhhht?
The W/D KNEW about this, way ahead of time and could have arranged for at least one actor to go to the screening and pay their way as far as handling transportation and attending the red carpet. Maybe the W/D might have felt it wouldn't have been fair if all of the actors couldn't go, but my concern is this -- you submit a film to a festival that turns out to be pretty out of the way for all the actors perhaps save one besides the W/D. The W/D has two cars and could finagle a third if the W/D at least pays for the gas for the third which belongs to one of the actors to entice him to bring people to attend and pay to see the screening later.
Yet, there again seems to be no line of forethought, no foreshadowing. There continues to be a lack of information and consideration. Stuff that doesn't sit right or add up in a logical way just piles up.
I asked on a separate note about whether the W/D was still interested in doing a film project/idea we tossed back and forth. And my friends are convinced the W/D is B.S.ing me and it's not going to go anywhere because it's possible I inadvertently hurt the W/D's feelings by writing a better version of a screen play the W/D presented to me.
The W/D is very much in love with what they put down and want every word and action kept exactly as they write it, the problem is it's not very dynamic and several scenes can be cut because it's quite frankly, extraneous and doesn't add anything important to the script. I tried to pare it down and still have work to pare it down further, but the W/D admitted to liking what they saw in my version. This became the sticking point for my friends who advise I stepped on the W/D's ego and most likely it won't get done, despite mine being the better written piece.
In any case, the month of May is about to come to a close and I am no where closer to getting anything done on this, and I was hoping to at least work on a trailer. I wrote up, storyboarded, two versions of the teaser, and hope to film it shortly, like the next couple of weeks. But of course, life calls -- I've got rent to pay, a phone bill to pare down and a cable/internet bill that's important to keep going as I electronically submit for acting gigs on a daily basis. Oh and did I mention a phone bill?
I'm annoyed, a bit frustrated and trying not to get negative or down on myself. I do not need to spiral into depression. As I say, we will see. I have it so clear in my head about the trailer, I just need the cooperation, time, and tape to film it and off we go. An old camera, it is not completely digital, but uses a special tape. I will have to figure this out or record it on a small bitty camera or rent one, it's gotta be done.
Having trouble sleeping. Got a new script for another project that most likely won't see the light of day. I'm getting annoyed. Must stop typing. Sun rising. Did not sleep again tonight and my hair feels like a rat's nest. Have things to do today but no audition and no acting work. Not even BG work. Sigh. Must keep moving. May go through my editing for the script or just try to get a couple hours sleep. No bueno.
The W/D KNEW about this, way ahead of time and could have arranged for at least one actor to go to the screening and pay their way as far as handling transportation and attending the red carpet. Maybe the W/D might have felt it wouldn't have been fair if all of the actors couldn't go, but my concern is this -- you submit a film to a festival that turns out to be pretty out of the way for all the actors perhaps save one besides the W/D. The W/D has two cars and could finagle a third if the W/D at least pays for the gas for the third which belongs to one of the actors to entice him to bring people to attend and pay to see the screening later.
Yet, there again seems to be no line of forethought, no foreshadowing. There continues to be a lack of information and consideration. Stuff that doesn't sit right or add up in a logical way just piles up.
I asked on a separate note about whether the W/D was still interested in doing a film project/idea we tossed back and forth. And my friends are convinced the W/D is B.S.ing me and it's not going to go anywhere because it's possible I inadvertently hurt the W/D's feelings by writing a better version of a screen play the W/D presented to me.
The W/D is very much in love with what they put down and want every word and action kept exactly as they write it, the problem is it's not very dynamic and several scenes can be cut because it's quite frankly, extraneous and doesn't add anything important to the script. I tried to pare it down and still have work to pare it down further, but the W/D admitted to liking what they saw in my version. This became the sticking point for my friends who advise I stepped on the W/D's ego and most likely it won't get done, despite mine being the better written piece.
In any case, the month of May is about to come to a close and I am no where closer to getting anything done on this, and I was hoping to at least work on a trailer. I wrote up, storyboarded, two versions of the teaser, and hope to film it shortly, like the next couple of weeks. But of course, life calls -- I've got rent to pay, a phone bill to pare down and a cable/internet bill that's important to keep going as I electronically submit for acting gigs on a daily basis. Oh and did I mention a phone bill?
I'm annoyed, a bit frustrated and trying not to get negative or down on myself. I do not need to spiral into depression. As I say, we will see. I have it so clear in my head about the trailer, I just need the cooperation, time, and tape to film it and off we go. An old camera, it is not completely digital, but uses a special tape. I will have to figure this out or record it on a small bitty camera or rent one, it's gotta be done.
Having trouble sleeping. Got a new script for another project that most likely won't see the light of day. I'm getting annoyed. Must stop typing. Sun rising. Did not sleep again tonight and my hair feels like a rat's nest. Have things to do today but no audition and no acting work. Not even BG work. Sigh. Must keep moving. May go through my editing for the script or just try to get a couple hours sleep. No bueno.
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
OMFG
I feel the level of frustration rising. I have shooting pains in the back of my eyes, it alternates. Why? Because the film I was working on for over half a year and had gone through two cast changes with, has NOT been promoted as much as I think it should be. It also does not look as polished as it should be. The audio sucks in the teaser trailer that was FINALLY released the other day, and it features mostly one actor throughout. The main character who appears from the beginning of the film and shows in the final scene as we fade out, is NOT as heavily featured and I show in one lone clip that is a throwaway shot, a quick cut in and out, and it's not even a good edit.
I've suggested film festivals and expressed my excitement on the film's completion and stayed with the positive feedback when the film's writer/director posted the film "poster", which looked like something a third grader did. It just looks so...cheap. Like there's no heart or thought in the process, like everything was done last minute within five seconds because someone was too busy or worse, too lazy or too cheap, to have someone else do it properly.
Even though I do not have a degree in graphic design, I know what's visually pleasing, what sets the composition in a picture or a poster. I just felt it could be done better.
I have to put my ego aside, because I noticed that one actor seems to get the most exposure out of this -- the first pictures posted on the movie's FB page featured this actor's face alone. The theme continued into the trailer.
I tell myself part of the lesson here is that ultimately I am not in creative control, I relinquish that when I work on other people's projects. On the other hand, I don't recall the role of this actor being the lead or the focus of the film. Perhaps the writer director felt otherwise, and is pushing this actor.
What surprises me is this actor was so resistant to the writer director, very passive aggressive and was very critical of the W/D. And yet....here we are, with this actor getting the floor. Interesting.
There are a couple of projects the W/D claims they want to do with me, but it's been slow going. Meanwhile, they've found the time to punch out a five minute segment with two other actors and show it at some public function. There were no invites to this, and seems to have been very low key at some bar.
As I observed other people promoting projects, I had asked if there would be a website for the film and have yet to see one. There is no place to view this film's teaser, unless they go to the FB page. And the trailer absolutely sucks. It's not something I would show with any pride. As I said, I barely appear and it's a showcase for one actor.
I'm not really sure what to do. I have spread the word to check out the film, and I doubt a lot of them are going to make the trek to a place that is not readily available by public transportation anyway. And the people I know don't have cars, we live in a city that doesn't really require a person to have one.
I'm disappointed, a little embarrassed, and want to continue to keep holding my head up and stay positive.
A part of me is like fuck it, it's not your pride and joy and the only one looking like an idiot is the W/D for putting this out unpolished. But it did get picked up by a film festival. So....maybe this actor carried the film so well that we only have this person to thank. We will see. Next month the film will have its official screening and we have a red carpet, my first! I don't know WHAT I am going to wear!
I've suggested film festivals and expressed my excitement on the film's completion and stayed with the positive feedback when the film's writer/director posted the film "poster", which looked like something a third grader did. It just looks so...cheap. Like there's no heart or thought in the process, like everything was done last minute within five seconds because someone was too busy or worse, too lazy or too cheap, to have someone else do it properly.
Even though I do not have a degree in graphic design, I know what's visually pleasing, what sets the composition in a picture or a poster. I just felt it could be done better.
I have to put my ego aside, because I noticed that one actor seems to get the most exposure out of this -- the first pictures posted on the movie's FB page featured this actor's face alone. The theme continued into the trailer.
I tell myself part of the lesson here is that ultimately I am not in creative control, I relinquish that when I work on other people's projects. On the other hand, I don't recall the role of this actor being the lead or the focus of the film. Perhaps the writer director felt otherwise, and is pushing this actor.
What surprises me is this actor was so resistant to the writer director, very passive aggressive and was very critical of the W/D. And yet....here we are, with this actor getting the floor. Interesting.
There are a couple of projects the W/D claims they want to do with me, but it's been slow going. Meanwhile, they've found the time to punch out a five minute segment with two other actors and show it at some public function. There were no invites to this, and seems to have been very low key at some bar.
As I observed other people promoting projects, I had asked if there would be a website for the film and have yet to see one. There is no place to view this film's teaser, unless they go to the FB page. And the trailer absolutely sucks. It's not something I would show with any pride. As I said, I barely appear and it's a showcase for one actor.
I'm not really sure what to do. I have spread the word to check out the film, and I doubt a lot of them are going to make the trek to a place that is not readily available by public transportation anyway. And the people I know don't have cars, we live in a city that doesn't really require a person to have one.
I'm disappointed, a little embarrassed, and want to continue to keep holding my head up and stay positive.
A part of me is like fuck it, it's not your pride and joy and the only one looking like an idiot is the W/D for putting this out unpolished. But it did get picked up by a film festival. So....maybe this actor carried the film so well that we only have this person to thank. We will see. Next month the film will have its official screening and we have a red carpet, my first! I don't know WHAT I am going to wear!
Thursday, April 17, 2014
There's a time for everything....now....when will it be MY time?
After finishing the latest nightmare of a temp gig, I found myself happily applying for BG work. Yes, it's like a little over eight bucks an hour. And the fact I would rather stand around in all kinds of weather for that kind of money instead of sitting in some artificially lit office with other miserable souls, should tell you something. It certainly does to me. I wish I could make more money, honestly I do. I get tremendous satisfaction of doing a job well, and that goes for office work as well as BG. Getting that check acknowledging my efforts, is lovely. But that BG check means more to me than I can say. That is what told me office life is not for me. People in offices have their own ways to deal with time passing, and can reason their time away with having to focus on kids and a mortgage. In other words. Bills. Well, bills will always be there, you pay one month and guess what, they are back the following month. It doesn't matter, they will be with you until you leave this earth in death. So....how to live your life or what of it you have left, is really up to you.
This week was quiet. I got a go-see and no BG work. Thankfully I have a promo gig tomorrow, which is as a brand ambassador, where I smile, greet the public, and hand out helpful leaflets or freebies, and inform anyone who cares to listen what product I'm promoting. Sometimes it results in sales, sometimes it results in some lovely human interaction, and mostly it's just people shaking their head and saying "no thanks" and taking off, hurrying to wherever they have to go.
It's not the most exciting life but it's something that pays rather nicely per hour -- the only thing is I have to wait like 60 days before seeing any amount of it, even if it's only for $50. Imagine, waiting two months to get a check for work you did. It involves a lot of trust that this company will pay you, but don't, god forbid, get too intense and write in a month to inquire about your check. No other job I know entails this kind of wait period. Even BG pays within ten days of your working a day or two.
Strange. In any case, I filed my taxes and this year I was really behind things, and waited til the day before to get the papers together and really focus on getting things filled out, computed, checked, then filed. I decided to go the e-file route with TurboTax once I saw I would have to fill out several tax forms with the 1040 this year, and I would not be filing a 1040EZ this year due to my consulting gig ($100.00 produced two tax forms plus a tax computing sheet to "show my work" to the IRS) along with a couple of 1099's of different letters to also add on with the usual W-2's.
At least I go to auditions now. I get a callback and that was awesome. Didn't get the gig, but hey, at least I got a callback. It was for a commercial too, which was wow. and everyone seemed really nice.
So...I ask myself. WHEN will it be MY time? I had fretted over my procrastinating with the tax deadline, I usually am very good to get things out by Valentine's Day. I am too cheap to get someone to do my taxes, I reason, but this year was different. Thank God for TurboTax. It doublechecked my work and confirmed I would need to fill out the several tax sheets and did it for me for free. All I had to pay was for the State version, which kicks my butt usually every year, but this year TT is saying I'm getting some money back. Wowee that would be a first in quite a long damned time, I quip. I again go I'm so cheap to have anyone do my taxes, I just don't trust confidential information like that to just give out to anybody.
K says it will be in two years. And I will afford someone to do them for me so I don't have to worry anymore. Damn, can I hold on that long? K says it won't be long. Very confident. So very confident and proud of me. I feel blessed. And grateful. At times.
And then...I dream. Will I get there? I dream of all the things that happened to me, some dreadful office jobs with jealous petty people who had no lives and didn't appreciate that I came in smiling every day. Because I knew the office was only temporary, it was not going to be my life forever to the grave. I would do things, travel, see places and people and things, and live a life. Office life is fine, for a period of time, and then it's time to go. Get fresh air, look around, explore. Life's too short to stay in one place and stagnate.
I wonder. And I continue to dream. And I plan on my first directorial piece, my directorial debut, on a teaser/trailer I have written, and now may get a camera for. I can't wait, it's gonna be exciting - weird how things fall into place. When it's meant to be....and the time is right. Now.
This week was quiet. I got a go-see and no BG work. Thankfully I have a promo gig tomorrow, which is as a brand ambassador, where I smile, greet the public, and hand out helpful leaflets or freebies, and inform anyone who cares to listen what product I'm promoting. Sometimes it results in sales, sometimes it results in some lovely human interaction, and mostly it's just people shaking their head and saying "no thanks" and taking off, hurrying to wherever they have to go.
It's not the most exciting life but it's something that pays rather nicely per hour -- the only thing is I have to wait like 60 days before seeing any amount of it, even if it's only for $50. Imagine, waiting two months to get a check for work you did. It involves a lot of trust that this company will pay you, but don't, god forbid, get too intense and write in a month to inquire about your check. No other job I know entails this kind of wait period. Even BG pays within ten days of your working a day or two.
Strange. In any case, I filed my taxes and this year I was really behind things, and waited til the day before to get the papers together and really focus on getting things filled out, computed, checked, then filed. I decided to go the e-file route with TurboTax once I saw I would have to fill out several tax forms with the 1040 this year, and I would not be filing a 1040EZ this year due to my consulting gig ($100.00 produced two tax forms plus a tax computing sheet to "show my work" to the IRS) along with a couple of 1099's of different letters to also add on with the usual W-2's.
At least I go to auditions now. I get a callback and that was awesome. Didn't get the gig, but hey, at least I got a callback. It was for a commercial too, which was wow. and everyone seemed really nice.
So...I ask myself. WHEN will it be MY time? I had fretted over my procrastinating with the tax deadline, I usually am very good to get things out by Valentine's Day. I am too cheap to get someone to do my taxes, I reason, but this year was different. Thank God for TurboTax. It doublechecked my work and confirmed I would need to fill out the several tax sheets and did it for me for free. All I had to pay was for the State version, which kicks my butt usually every year, but this year TT is saying I'm getting some money back. Wowee that would be a first in quite a long damned time, I quip. I again go I'm so cheap to have anyone do my taxes, I just don't trust confidential information like that to just give out to anybody.
K says it will be in two years. And I will afford someone to do them for me so I don't have to worry anymore. Damn, can I hold on that long? K says it won't be long. Very confident. So very confident and proud of me. I feel blessed. And grateful. At times.
And then...I dream. Will I get there? I dream of all the things that happened to me, some dreadful office jobs with jealous petty people who had no lives and didn't appreciate that I came in smiling every day. Because I knew the office was only temporary, it was not going to be my life forever to the grave. I would do things, travel, see places and people and things, and live a life. Office life is fine, for a period of time, and then it's time to go. Get fresh air, look around, explore. Life's too short to stay in one place and stagnate.
I wonder. And I continue to dream. And I plan on my first directorial piece, my directorial debut, on a teaser/trailer I have written, and now may get a camera for. I can't wait, it's gonna be exciting - weird how things fall into place. When it's meant to be....and the time is right. Now.
Sunday, March 2, 2014
Wrapped two projects over the course of three days. At first, it seemed I had three projects lined up, and spoke too soon, letting the good news out. Now I know I temporarily lost my mind, and paid for it. But then I regained two of the three projects. Plus both gigs were paid gigs. So all's well. Watched the Oscars tonight, and checking online media in real time, and the haters were out in full force, talking about how boring this year is, and all I can think of is, that's where I want to be, nominated and WINNING. Well, of course, some day. One day.
First project was a one day gig, an "abstract" re-enactment that would not involve featuring my face, and be more along my hand movements, leg movements, back of head, that kind of thing. I was kind of surprised they still wanted me to sign an image release form. I typed on a laptop for a sequence and impressed the director who had not realized I was really typing sentences over and over. He thought I was moving too fast but I slowed down and then explained that my dayjob is as an office assistant. So he was amused a bit. The filming went smoothly for the most part, although they seemed to discuss at length about camera angles and mountings for angles and film record speeds. Otherwise, we did well, and changing my outfits went quick and productive.
We were filming somewhere in Jersey, and it was cold, snow still everywhere. Despite freezing a bit, we finally got to focus on my work and it was great.
Then I worked over the weekend the two day filming for something I'm being told will be submitted to film festivals. I am really hoping to see this and hope they follow through. The filming was quite organized, and we were fed, and kept warm and dry. We would start filming around 10 and be done by 4, and we got paid at the end of the second day. One of the better gigs I've had, and paid one at that, not bad.
So I hadn't had a day off in ten days, which was OK. I was tired but happy. Then, as it seems to be with the acting world, there were no bites or leads for more acting gigs the following week, it was quiet. So I faced a weekend where I could catch up on errands, walk the dog and sleep.
I awoke today from some sad heavy dream that put me in a very sad quiet mood. Have no idea what it was, and yet it kept me in a dark place. I didn't shake it until a couple of hours ago, and even then, I am not looking forward to going back to the office tomorrow. Partly because it's an office gig where the people are clearly clueless on how to speak to each other and even more ignorant when it comes to speaking to people who aren't their employee, someone who doesn't answer to them or their respective boss or supervisor.
It helps to have a steady gig while I pursue acting opportunities. But I exchange one headache for another. While I take a temp gig to keep the wolf from my door, I still have to struggle with people's quirks, ignorance and stupidity. This should keep me humbled, reminded and focused that this is not where I want or aspire to be, that my life and career is elsewhere.
I continue to take notes, remind myself, observe and move towards what I want to do and need to accomplish.
First project was a one day gig, an "abstract" re-enactment that would not involve featuring my face, and be more along my hand movements, leg movements, back of head, that kind of thing. I was kind of surprised they still wanted me to sign an image release form. I typed on a laptop for a sequence and impressed the director who had not realized I was really typing sentences over and over. He thought I was moving too fast but I slowed down and then explained that my dayjob is as an office assistant. So he was amused a bit. The filming went smoothly for the most part, although they seemed to discuss at length about camera angles and mountings for angles and film record speeds. Otherwise, we did well, and changing my outfits went quick and productive.
We were filming somewhere in Jersey, and it was cold, snow still everywhere. Despite freezing a bit, we finally got to focus on my work and it was great.
Then I worked over the weekend the two day filming for something I'm being told will be submitted to film festivals. I am really hoping to see this and hope they follow through. The filming was quite organized, and we were fed, and kept warm and dry. We would start filming around 10 and be done by 4, and we got paid at the end of the second day. One of the better gigs I've had, and paid one at that, not bad.
So I hadn't had a day off in ten days, which was OK. I was tired but happy. Then, as it seems to be with the acting world, there were no bites or leads for more acting gigs the following week, it was quiet. So I faced a weekend where I could catch up on errands, walk the dog and sleep.
I awoke today from some sad heavy dream that put me in a very sad quiet mood. Have no idea what it was, and yet it kept me in a dark place. I didn't shake it until a couple of hours ago, and even then, I am not looking forward to going back to the office tomorrow. Partly because it's an office gig where the people are clearly clueless on how to speak to each other and even more ignorant when it comes to speaking to people who aren't their employee, someone who doesn't answer to them or their respective boss or supervisor.
It helps to have a steady gig while I pursue acting opportunities. But I exchange one headache for another. While I take a temp gig to keep the wolf from my door, I still have to struggle with people's quirks, ignorance and stupidity. This should keep me humbled, reminded and focused that this is not where I want or aspire to be, that my life and career is elsewhere.
I continue to take notes, remind myself, observe and move towards what I want to do and need to accomplish.
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
So...the film that went on for months is finished....now what?
After having the "viewing party" at the writer/director's house, I find I have some free time on my hands to let go of this role and move on to the next project. Check in hand (yup, paid actor to boot!), I made sure it didn't bounce and said my goodbyes and keep in touches, and kept it moving, applying and submitting for acting gigs. And in one week got three. Got confirmed for two as definite, one was thinking about utilizing me then never got back to me after the initial email.
So now.....I am ecstatic, and uncharacteristically post updates of what I'm up to on my FB actor page. Bad idea. We actors are a superstitious lot and it's not uncommon to find some secret hateration going on amongst fellow actors, even struggling ones.
Soooooo...I was too gleeful and got demands for wanting to know what exactly I was doing from ...some apparent haters who wanted me to prove things and uncharacteristically I gave in and ended up giving up information about the project (like its name) and suddenly, I get dropped from another project. So now I'm down to one project out of the original three -- this is the one I did not get into details. I'm human, but I also scold myself for just going down that road and allowing me to get influenced by some idiots who in the end don't pay my rent nor do anything to further my career anyway.
It is a paid gig, so I'm thrilled about that. And I'll be traveling for a weekend shoot. I'm very excited about it, because it's far enough but not that far that I can't come home and sleep in my own bed. Very happy about that!
Studying lines, which is my Achilles heel, being more diligent about memorizing. Luckily it's not a long piece, I should be fine by end of the week. Working a temp job in the meantime to help cover home expenses and I'm trying to figure out how to squeeze in getting a new headshot or two to carry me over for the next couple of years.
And I keep submitting, while dealing with the every day things of making sure I'm not underpaid or gypped on something or another. The life of an actor.
So now.....I am ecstatic, and uncharacteristically post updates of what I'm up to on my FB actor page. Bad idea. We actors are a superstitious lot and it's not uncommon to find some secret hateration going on amongst fellow actors, even struggling ones.
Soooooo...I was too gleeful and got demands for wanting to know what exactly I was doing from ...some apparent haters who wanted me to prove things and uncharacteristically I gave in and ended up giving up information about the project (like its name) and suddenly, I get dropped from another project. So now I'm down to one project out of the original three -- this is the one I did not get into details. I'm human, but I also scold myself for just going down that road and allowing me to get influenced by some idiots who in the end don't pay my rent nor do anything to further my career anyway.
It is a paid gig, so I'm thrilled about that. And I'll be traveling for a weekend shoot. I'm very excited about it, because it's far enough but not that far that I can't come home and sleep in my own bed. Very happy about that!
Studying lines, which is my Achilles heel, being more diligent about memorizing. Luckily it's not a long piece, I should be fine by end of the week. Working a temp job in the meantime to help cover home expenses and I'm trying to figure out how to squeeze in getting a new headshot or two to carry me over for the next couple of years.
And I keep submitting, while dealing with the every day things of making sure I'm not underpaid or gypped on something or another. The life of an actor.
Thursday, January 9, 2014
Checking out castings
Some of the descriptions can be informative and helpful in order to help you better understand how to deliver on a role you want to audition for. Then there are some that can come across rather unbelievable in their description of a character -- it's either very dull, vague or, even worse, insulting. Some are downright funny.
Here is one that I did a doubletake on today. Someone's in love with their inventive vocabulary usage.
"(female role) is a famous fashion blogger who loves the internet and post about herself. She is very futile and self-centered, although her goal in life is to be noticed and talked about, she is a pretty and stylish girl."
Now, some would say, "hey I know a girl like that, so the description's not that off. What is wrong with it?"
I found this to be the doubletake: "She is very futile..."
Futile is an adjective, but normally not used to describe a person but a person's ACTIONS. For example, "Resistance is futile" or "The situation is futile", or "In a futile attempt for civility, the President raised his hand to keep the peace."
Unfortunately, this is a very mild version of some of the wilder shit I've seen for female roles. Perhaps I should post some here in the near future, so you get an idea of what some "typical" casting notices go as these days.
Here is one that I did a doubletake on today. Someone's in love with their inventive vocabulary usage.
"(female role) is a famous fashion blogger who loves the internet and post about herself. She is very futile and self-centered, although her goal in life is to be noticed and talked about, she is a pretty and stylish girl."
Now, some would say, "hey I know a girl like that, so the description's not that off. What is wrong with it?"
I found this to be the doubletake: "She is very futile..."
Futile is an adjective, but normally not used to describe a person but a person's ACTIONS. For example, "Resistance is futile" or "The situation is futile", or "In a futile attempt for civility, the President raised his hand to keep the peace."
Unfortunately, this is a very mild version of some of the wilder shit I've seen for female roles. Perhaps I should post some here in the near future, so you get an idea of what some "typical" casting notices go as these days.
Saturday, January 4, 2014
Happy New Year!
A new project is coming into being slowly but surely. The script (well, scripts in this case, two, and looking to be incorporated somehow with the wizardry of writer/director working with me) is ready, it's a matter of memorizing, working out the details such as what to wear, and we already have the locations for some of it.
I'm hoping that next week I can reach out and let them know I'm ready to start the process. I asked for some time as it was the holidays and I would get a better idea in a few days. So it's time to get off my haunches so to speak and start it moving.
I'm pretty excited about it. As the W/D told me, this would be a showcase for me. Showcase. And it's a period piece, so it will be even more exciting and interesting to do.
Will keep tabs here on it. Just happy to get back on blogger in order to keep my 'diary' of sorts going!
I'm hoping that next week I can reach out and let them know I'm ready to start the process. I asked for some time as it was the holidays and I would get a better idea in a few days. So it's time to get off my haunches so to speak and start it moving.
I'm pretty excited about it. As the W/D told me, this would be a showcase for me. Showcase. And it's a period piece, so it will be even more exciting and interesting to do.
Will keep tabs here on it. Just happy to get back on blogger in order to keep my 'diary' of sorts going!
In the past six months, have lost three fellow BG actors
It's been a strange time of loss. Of people you meet, connect over something you share, and then, they are not there anymore. That's when you know you've been at something long enough, that you have made some work friendships, and you end up caring and then....the shock of that's it, the end. Life's so short and precious. You'd think more people would have an understanding of this, but they let it get lost in the mundane every day of simply trying to survive until tomorrow, next week, next month, next year. Next year I'll travel, next week I'll start my diet, tomorrow I'll go to bed at a decent hour.
Well, it's either you do it or you don't. And if you don't, don't belabor it on your deathbed. Don't let it be your last thought. Think of the love you got and the laughs and hugs and tears you shared with those you cared about. Because in the end, that's all that's going to matter to those who were left behind.
I am in a business where it's seemingly normal to not just grieve but to publicly show how much of a connection you have to someone who has recently passed. Watching people speculate how close were you to someone. Then it's your time to orate, to give a lengthy speech as if you are on stage about to read a dramatic piece worthy of Shakespeare, pauses, booming voice, tears and all.
I can't do that. All I can do is say goodbye good friend and you will be missed. I can't do the crying thing with all these people, it's just not seemly. I write my note, say what I need to say, but don't go overboard. In the end, I only know one part of a person who works this life, and it's the part that actor or actress wants to project, it's not their entire life summed up in one line or role. So I have to approach like what I am, simply an acquaintance, and not to let my fears of mortality override or bleed in to my condolences and goodbyes.
Well, I've spoken enough on it. It's awkward, but a part of real natural life that pokes its head in every now and then to let me know like everyone else, that you don't know how much time you got. Best to do your time doing something you love or doing something that will help get you there while overriding any bumps or hiccups.
Well, it's either you do it or you don't. And if you don't, don't belabor it on your deathbed. Don't let it be your last thought. Think of the love you got and the laughs and hugs and tears you shared with those you cared about. Because in the end, that's all that's going to matter to those who were left behind.
I am in a business where it's seemingly normal to not just grieve but to publicly show how much of a connection you have to someone who has recently passed. Watching people speculate how close were you to someone. Then it's your time to orate, to give a lengthy speech as if you are on stage about to read a dramatic piece worthy of Shakespeare, pauses, booming voice, tears and all.
I can't do that. All I can do is say goodbye good friend and you will be missed. I can't do the crying thing with all these people, it's just not seemly. I write my note, say what I need to say, but don't go overboard. In the end, I only know one part of a person who works this life, and it's the part that actor or actress wants to project, it's not their entire life summed up in one line or role. So I have to approach like what I am, simply an acquaintance, and not to let my fears of mortality override or bleed in to my condolences and goodbyes.
Well, I've spoken enough on it. It's awkward, but a part of real natural life that pokes its head in every now and then to let me know like everyone else, that you don't know how much time you got. Best to do your time doing something you love or doing something that will help get you there while overriding any bumps or hiccups.
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Back to filming the film....month five or seven, give or take
Oh my Lord. I can understand now how some actors grow a bit restless, eager to move on to the next project. We all so want this project to be perfect, but the actual time spent for filming and rehearsal has been dismal. If it weren't for my insistence on meeting for rehearsals, and getting in at least two, I don't think I could feel I've done the best I could for this. I don't act in a vacuum, unless it's for some kind of CGI/animated project or voiceover.
This is a small film, a very small one, done by one man who is both writer and director, and is in love with every word on the page. He makes sudden changes within the script, and moves the time frame as he sees fit. Continuity is an issue, because he is not keeping costuming straight. The costuming is small at best, and we bring what we have, and I ended up having to wear one of the wife's outfits in order to film, now stuck with wearing it as there was confusion as to what was being filmed one day.
So now we come to the final thirty pages of the script, and I can't wait to be done. Between actors too involved in their process and how the film should look, to a writer/director who apologizes every time he has to fumble between deciding which of the two lenses he has to shoot a particular angle for a scene, to finding myself more and more left out of the film and what is actually being filmed, I am at a point that I am becoming not just restless but exhausted. I merely wanted something for my reel, and I am anxious to get this wrapped.
The scenes I am looking forward to have either been scrapped or drastically changed that I have very little screen time if at all. A part of me now dreads even showing up tomorrow but it's a pivotal scene, the end scenes, when all the characters converge and the truth's revealed. All exterior shots, so we only have a limited amount of time (and daylight) to get this right for the director.
I will come prepared with the red outfit, because it's the first one you see my character in. Of course the director/writer has done some finagling with the script as far as the time of year this scene occurs in, but whatever. The other character in the scene will have the initial outfit on, but I won't, which makes no sense.
Trying to stay professional and not lose my cool over this. It's not my baby, and I must trust it'll all turn out alright in the end. At least that's what the W/D says from time to time. All I know is that it's October and I need to move on soon.
This is a small film, a very small one, done by one man who is both writer and director, and is in love with every word on the page. He makes sudden changes within the script, and moves the time frame as he sees fit. Continuity is an issue, because he is not keeping costuming straight. The costuming is small at best, and we bring what we have, and I ended up having to wear one of the wife's outfits in order to film, now stuck with wearing it as there was confusion as to what was being filmed one day.
So now we come to the final thirty pages of the script, and I can't wait to be done. Between actors too involved in their process and how the film should look, to a writer/director who apologizes every time he has to fumble between deciding which of the two lenses he has to shoot a particular angle for a scene, to finding myself more and more left out of the film and what is actually being filmed, I am at a point that I am becoming not just restless but exhausted. I merely wanted something for my reel, and I am anxious to get this wrapped.
The scenes I am looking forward to have either been scrapped or drastically changed that I have very little screen time if at all. A part of me now dreads even showing up tomorrow but it's a pivotal scene, the end scenes, when all the characters converge and the truth's revealed. All exterior shots, so we only have a limited amount of time (and daylight) to get this right for the director.
I will come prepared with the red outfit, because it's the first one you see my character in. Of course the director/writer has done some finagling with the script as far as the time of year this scene occurs in, but whatever. The other character in the scene will have the initial outfit on, but I won't, which makes no sense.
Trying to stay professional and not lose my cool over this. It's not my baby, and I must trust it'll all turn out alright in the end. At least that's what the W/D says from time to time. All I know is that it's October and I need to move on soon.
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Free offerings....not really free
Today I was reminded of the quirks of humanity.
A person, who shall remain nameless, decided to announce that they were doing test shots, taking the ol' camera out of the mothballs so to speak, and if anyone wanted to get a free shoot in, to let them know. And of course the person gets requests, within minutes even I put in a request, and was told that they were busy working, but could try next week.
Flash forward the next week, and wouldn't you know, the same person is announcing how yet another photoshoot went so well, and that if anyone is interested, to get in on it while it's still free. I reply within minutes again, and even private message, which the PM got no response, so I clicked on that public announcement brag post and said "hey".
So ....the passive aggressive play of not answering me but answering other people reminded me that perhaps this person was not really interested in photographing me, especially when I recall a prior encounter I had with this person, who had sent me a "friend" request when I didn't even know, but I had seen in the same groups I had posted in, so I figured why not, probably harmless.
Turns out, several months later, we meet on set for a production, and the person paid me no mind, despite the fact that I introduced myself and the person acted like they couldn't place me. I then went on to say, "that's odd, considering you had sent me a friend request and I don't know you except for posting on work sites like I do," and then they just kind of looked like a deer caught in headlight and said some lame line about how they didn't recognize me from my photos. Huh? The pictures look like me, no one else has said I don't look like me, so it was total passive aggressive b.s. I asked for clarification, "really, what do you mean?" And got nothing. Just a shrug. I shrug back, and just shook my head. The person in question is not exactly competing in the hot/attractive department, not by a longshot, but I found it interesting that the person only seemed to want to talk to the skinny 19 year olds with long blond hair walking around. Nice. After that realization, and seeing that the person was blowing me off saying their "phone was dying" and couldn't send me location info but just a time to meet, and in the morning to boot, so I'm supposed to stand around and wait for when they can supposedly go home and connect via email. I send my email addy and stick around for an hour then sign off. Ten minutes later, I log on and see a tentative "are you still on?" and decided not to reply. It was going on midnight and they wanted to meet at 11 am at some place undetermined.
Now, I know that the offer was free and they could do what they please, but the vibe I got, and remembering our prior short icky encounter, is that this person was absolutely not interested in me taking the offer, but was offering it to specific cuties they wanted to get to know better. Then don't waste people's time and give half ass answers, passive aggro ass. I decided I do not need to shove myself down some nobody's throat, and quite frankly, I need to back off when someone doesn't respond with at least some level of enthusiasm. I had remembered too late the lack of warmth and kindness from this person, but I will make a note of it, and will be only too happy to not deal with this person ever again.
At the end of the day, at least I managed to state something very selfish and actor-y of me, that I would be in rehearsals at a certain time, so at least I advertised that I wasn't sitting at the computer staring at my emails into early morning wondering if they were going to contact me. I get enough abuse dealing with employment agencies that claim to have some dream job right up my alley and never answer me, or send some form letter of thanks but no.
Enough of a rant today. I am recovering from viral infection and have been having interrupted sleep. Gonna sleep well tonight, I hope, as I can breathe and not cough so much. Just needed to vent on the stupidity of some folks. G'nite.
A person, who shall remain nameless, decided to announce that they were doing test shots, taking the ol' camera out of the mothballs so to speak, and if anyone wanted to get a free shoot in, to let them know. And of course the person gets requests, within minutes even I put in a request, and was told that they were busy working, but could try next week.
Flash forward the next week, and wouldn't you know, the same person is announcing how yet another photoshoot went so well, and that if anyone is interested, to get in on it while it's still free. I reply within minutes again, and even private message, which the PM got no response, so I clicked on that public announcement brag post and said "hey".
So ....the passive aggressive play of not answering me but answering other people reminded me that perhaps this person was not really interested in photographing me, especially when I recall a prior encounter I had with this person, who had sent me a "friend" request when I didn't even know, but I had seen in the same groups I had posted in, so I figured why not, probably harmless.
Turns out, several months later, we meet on set for a production, and the person paid me no mind, despite the fact that I introduced myself and the person acted like they couldn't place me. I then went on to say, "that's odd, considering you had sent me a friend request and I don't know you except for posting on work sites like I do," and then they just kind of looked like a deer caught in headlight and said some lame line about how they didn't recognize me from my photos. Huh? The pictures look like me, no one else has said I don't look like me, so it was total passive aggressive b.s. I asked for clarification, "really, what do you mean?" And got nothing. Just a shrug. I shrug back, and just shook my head. The person in question is not exactly competing in the hot/attractive department, not by a longshot, but I found it interesting that the person only seemed to want to talk to the skinny 19 year olds with long blond hair walking around. Nice. After that realization, and seeing that the person was blowing me off saying their "phone was dying" and couldn't send me location info but just a time to meet, and in the morning to boot, so I'm supposed to stand around and wait for when they can supposedly go home and connect via email. I send my email addy and stick around for an hour then sign off. Ten minutes later, I log on and see a tentative "are you still on?" and decided not to reply. It was going on midnight and they wanted to meet at 11 am at some place undetermined.
Now, I know that the offer was free and they could do what they please, but the vibe I got, and remembering our prior short icky encounter, is that this person was absolutely not interested in me taking the offer, but was offering it to specific cuties they wanted to get to know better. Then don't waste people's time and give half ass answers, passive aggro ass. I decided I do not need to shove myself down some nobody's throat, and quite frankly, I need to back off when someone doesn't respond with at least some level of enthusiasm. I had remembered too late the lack of warmth and kindness from this person, but I will make a note of it, and will be only too happy to not deal with this person ever again.
At the end of the day, at least I managed to state something very selfish and actor-y of me, that I would be in rehearsals at a certain time, so at least I advertised that I wasn't sitting at the computer staring at my emails into early morning wondering if they were going to contact me. I get enough abuse dealing with employment agencies that claim to have some dream job right up my alley and never answer me, or send some form letter of thanks but no.
Enough of a rant today. I am recovering from viral infection and have been having interrupted sleep. Gonna sleep well tonight, I hope, as I can breathe and not cough so much. Just needed to vent on the stupidity of some folks. G'nite.
Sunday, September 1, 2013
Filming ... and it goes on!
This is going to be a bit of a rambler.
After months of fits and starts, and losing two key cast members, the pivotal lead and a co-star, we are finally getting underway to film the scenes between my character, my "daughter" and the lead male. Suffice it to say, it's been a long time coming, and I'm excited and look forward to the last several pages of dialogue and scenes before the final ending which should be the most complex film sequence, the rest is a cutaway shot of what happens with each character in the end, with my character in the final shot with the pivotal lead.
Of course, it hasn't been without its bumps and doubts, but I've hung in there, and continue to do so, despite the politics and maybe the slightly manic over-enthusiasm of those who are eager to look good in front of the papa director. I have had to remind myself that it pays to be professional and nice to all I work with and deal with, because the system is incestuous, and it's not just what you know but who you know.
I want to remembered for being a very good actor, diligent, and professional and kind. And the elements are already there. I don't worry about what others have to do, I just worry about what I have to do, and rehearse when it's needed.
It's lovely to see fellow actors showing such enthusiasm for a project and wanting to do a good job. What has been interesting is how actors do things that they may or may not realize actually undermine the production process and will color fellow actors perspectives while working with them.
I have not given the impression I'm inflexible or uncooperative. I have given much more of my time and resources than I care to admit. The issue is when an actor oversteps their boundaries, in the reason that they are looking to "help", that can cause some issues.
For example, an actor I've worked with, in eagerness to speed up filming for a project, has declared themselves not just a "lead" but THE "lead" on a project that they are actually, at best, co-star in. The lead is the person who appears in almost every scene and has the most dialogue. It's not me and it's not them. Yet this person sent out a "newsletter" describing what they have been up to acting-wise, and I was somehow included on the maillist, although I didn't ask to be put on an update list. Just because you have my email, it doesn't mean to abuse it.
Which is another thing I will get into -- why oh why, when you are given my email in the day to day production chatter between actors, do you think it's suddenly OK to put MY email, without asking me, because I never gave you my email, the director did, again, in the course of being cc'd on production day to day chatter, WHY did you think it's OK to put on your mail list to send me your newsletter? I didn't ask to be given updates on your musings on what project you're working on and how you feel you are learning so much with absolutely zero information on WHAT you are learning exactly? Just a form to praise someone who hired you for the gig? How is that not one-sided?
In any case, I learn my lines, confer with the director, who called me direct and we discussed specifically what scenes to be worked on. The scenes, two small ones to be filmed outside, had to be rescheduled due to inclement weather. We, the director, myself and the enthusiastic actor co-star agreed to it in an email. So I thank the director for calling, I appreciated the update, yes the film is coming along wonderfully, I'm very excited about it, yes, and I'm thinking we're all set, I'm off to have my holiday weekend with the relatives, and see you next week.
Only....I get an email the very next day, in the early Saturday afternoon, from the director, telling me about how they filmed a scene for two characters in the film - wonderful, OK, it's nice to be given an update, but I'm away, so....I think that's nice, no worries. The very next day, I get a double email from the one who is eager to prove to the director that they are eager and put me on their maillist without asking, starting the email with "I know it's a holiday weekend but...." And I think, if you have to start an email with that statement, you should have never sent it. But apparently this person feels eagerness is not to be mistaken for failure to be considerate.
This eager person made a point of saying they would change their holiday plans to work Saturday. As it was already established I would be away with family obligations, in passing I suggested that the sequence of this person's character and another could be filmed on the weekend since the other actor could not work on weekdays and thus doing Saturday, if the other actor, could, would work out for all involved. The director storyboarded it, and from what I heard, the shoot went well, hence the excited email update from the director.
Supposedly, the enthusiastic one was to go on vacation for Sunday. Yet Sunday afternoon I get an email -- from them, starting the email with that infamous line. It could very well be completely innocent, or it could be in their eagerness to be noticed by the director, they wanted to pull a somewhat passive aggressive move and see if I could "at least" Skype to go over the scene. When I wrote back briefly describing the scenes we had previously emailed each other about that was cancelled due to the weather -- if something had changed, please advise, otherwise see you when we film, I heard nothing for three hours. Then an email came about how the pages were understood by them to be different, and a list of the pages were sent.
I checked my notes. That was for scene 3, which was to take place with the pivotal character, and none of us had done a runthrough with the the pivotal character beyond one single read when we were all introduced to each other two weeks ago. At the end of last week, a casual email exchange between myself and the pivotal actor, who had just replaced another actor for the role, still did not have the full script given to him by the director who had promised to get one to him.
Back to the point on scene 3. So apparently we were skipping over the scene that was to be filmed and going straight into the filming of the pivotal actor and us two co-stars, me and enthusiastic newsletter actor.
When the director had contacted me Friday, he made absolutely no mention of the new scenes, and whether the actor would be there. Luckily, most of the pages mentioned had already been filmed, and were actually scenes between just me and eager co-star.
I wrote back to eager beaver and graciously thanked them for the headsup and I will see them on shoot day.
Not going to stress. Luckily I already started going over the lines, so I should be raring to go by then. It doesn't explain what happens to the outdoor scene, but it's small and maybe the director is thinking he can just squish all the scenes together to get as much filmed in one day as possible. However, we've had no time to do the dialogue-heavy ones amongst the three of us on our own. So this'll be a bit challenging, a bit stressful but also oddly exhilarating to me. Let's rock and roll and get it done.
After months of fits and starts, and losing two key cast members, the pivotal lead and a co-star, we are finally getting underway to film the scenes between my character, my "daughter" and the lead male. Suffice it to say, it's been a long time coming, and I'm excited and look forward to the last several pages of dialogue and scenes before the final ending which should be the most complex film sequence, the rest is a cutaway shot of what happens with each character in the end, with my character in the final shot with the pivotal lead.
Of course, it hasn't been without its bumps and doubts, but I've hung in there, and continue to do so, despite the politics and maybe the slightly manic over-enthusiasm of those who are eager to look good in front of the papa director. I have had to remind myself that it pays to be professional and nice to all I work with and deal with, because the system is incestuous, and it's not just what you know but who you know.
I want to remembered for being a very good actor, diligent, and professional and kind. And the elements are already there. I don't worry about what others have to do, I just worry about what I have to do, and rehearse when it's needed.
It's lovely to see fellow actors showing such enthusiasm for a project and wanting to do a good job. What has been interesting is how actors do things that they may or may not realize actually undermine the production process and will color fellow actors perspectives while working with them.
I have not given the impression I'm inflexible or uncooperative. I have given much more of my time and resources than I care to admit. The issue is when an actor oversteps their boundaries, in the reason that they are looking to "help", that can cause some issues.
For example, an actor I've worked with, in eagerness to speed up filming for a project, has declared themselves not just a "lead" but THE "lead" on a project that they are actually, at best, co-star in. The lead is the person who appears in almost every scene and has the most dialogue. It's not me and it's not them. Yet this person sent out a "newsletter" describing what they have been up to acting-wise, and I was somehow included on the maillist, although I didn't ask to be put on an update list. Just because you have my email, it doesn't mean to abuse it.
Which is another thing I will get into -- why oh why, when you are given my email in the day to day production chatter between actors, do you think it's suddenly OK to put MY email, without asking me, because I never gave you my email, the director did, again, in the course of being cc'd on production day to day chatter, WHY did you think it's OK to put on your mail list to send me your newsletter? I didn't ask to be given updates on your musings on what project you're working on and how you feel you are learning so much with absolutely zero information on WHAT you are learning exactly? Just a form to praise someone who hired you for the gig? How is that not one-sided?
In any case, I learn my lines, confer with the director, who called me direct and we discussed specifically what scenes to be worked on. The scenes, two small ones to be filmed outside, had to be rescheduled due to inclement weather. We, the director, myself and the enthusiastic actor co-star agreed to it in an email. So I thank the director for calling, I appreciated the update, yes the film is coming along wonderfully, I'm very excited about it, yes, and I'm thinking we're all set, I'm off to have my holiday weekend with the relatives, and see you next week.
Only....I get an email the very next day, in the early Saturday afternoon, from the director, telling me about how they filmed a scene for two characters in the film - wonderful, OK, it's nice to be given an update, but I'm away, so....I think that's nice, no worries. The very next day, I get a double email from the one who is eager to prove to the director that they are eager and put me on their maillist without asking, starting the email with "I know it's a holiday weekend but...." And I think, if you have to start an email with that statement, you should have never sent it. But apparently this person feels eagerness is not to be mistaken for failure to be considerate.
This eager person made a point of saying they would change their holiday plans to work Saturday. As it was already established I would be away with family obligations, in passing I suggested that the sequence of this person's character and another could be filmed on the weekend since the other actor could not work on weekdays and thus doing Saturday, if the other actor, could, would work out for all involved. The director storyboarded it, and from what I heard, the shoot went well, hence the excited email update from the director.
Supposedly, the enthusiastic one was to go on vacation for Sunday. Yet Sunday afternoon I get an email -- from them, starting the email with that infamous line. It could very well be completely innocent, or it could be in their eagerness to be noticed by the director, they wanted to pull a somewhat passive aggressive move and see if I could "at least" Skype to go over the scene. When I wrote back briefly describing the scenes we had previously emailed each other about that was cancelled due to the weather -- if something had changed, please advise, otherwise see you when we film, I heard nothing for three hours. Then an email came about how the pages were understood by them to be different, and a list of the pages were sent.
I checked my notes. That was for scene 3, which was to take place with the pivotal character, and none of us had done a runthrough with the the pivotal character beyond one single read when we were all introduced to each other two weeks ago. At the end of last week, a casual email exchange between myself and the pivotal actor, who had just replaced another actor for the role, still did not have the full script given to him by the director who had promised to get one to him.
Back to the point on scene 3. So apparently we were skipping over the scene that was to be filmed and going straight into the filming of the pivotal actor and us two co-stars, me and enthusiastic newsletter actor.
When the director had contacted me Friday, he made absolutely no mention of the new scenes, and whether the actor would be there. Luckily, most of the pages mentioned had already been filmed, and were actually scenes between just me and eager co-star.
I wrote back to eager beaver and graciously thanked them for the headsup and I will see them on shoot day.
Not going to stress. Luckily I already started going over the lines, so I should be raring to go by then. It doesn't explain what happens to the outdoor scene, but it's small and maybe the director is thinking he can just squish all the scenes together to get as much filmed in one day as possible. However, we've had no time to do the dialogue-heavy ones amongst the three of us on our own. So this'll be a bit challenging, a bit stressful but also oddly exhilarating to me. Let's rock and roll and get it done.
Friday, August 9, 2013
Am I ready for the spotlight?
Today was a great day, although it started slow and I was feeling lethargic from the rainy weather. I was vacillating to go and join a writer/director on his auditioning. He saw it as an opportunity for me to view it from the casting chair as opposed to being the one to audition. It was very interesting but very cut and dried. We only had an hour in the room he was renting as the audition space. There was a table and about six chairs inhabiting the room. There were no posters or things of interest on the walls, it was very sterile. I had the "Casting By" documentary on my mind, which talked about a famous female Casting Director based in NYC and got a lot of now known actors their start by casting them in films -- we're talking Dustin Hoffman, Danny Glover, Jon Voight, Al Pacino, James Dean, all those great character actors of the 1950's, 60's, 70's and 80's. I was thinking about how she had bought a brownstone and converted it into a casting office space, while still keeping a home look about it, so when you went for a casting call there, you didn't feel like you were in a sterile uncomfortable place, it was a home, and was comfortable, people lived there. It was apparently very cool and she only hired females who in turn learning the trade of casting and went on to form their own careers and casting companies.
So I thought about the warm inviting room versus the cold sterile one I was in, and I could immediately see how actors are already put at a disadvantage, and how casting people can be easily bored or distracted, wanting to get out of that sterile boring room!
Anywho, I met with all the actors for the potential role that was up for grabs. I read another person's part in order to give the person someone to react and read off of, and for some it worked, some needed work, and at least two really didn't have anything and weren't radiating any energy. The one that looked very much like the role was nice, but he was just...there was nothing. I was looking for the give and take, to see what he could do, and he seemed to be more interested in learning the lines and be able to say them from memory when he was clearly stuck and getting worse. We stopped, and calmed him down, and assured him he could read from the script, and we moved forward. Again, I was not feeling him, but it was not my decision anyways.
After seeing the various actors, I was asked my thoughts, and I gave them. The director had his mind set on one guy in particular, and for some reason, although I do recall reading well with him, I couldn't grasp his name. I couldn't help but notice the director had his name right on his tongue, so I couldn't help but get the impression that he already knew the guy and wanted him before he even read. So...we'll see how that goes.
What came out of it as well, was an invite to do a reading with some cast members for another film, or play, I think, not sure. So I went home, happy, satisfied I showed my face and helped out.
I have a smile on my face, happy as can be, and apparently that bothers other people who don't feel that way or are jealous about it. A woman acted very rudely towards me when I asked rather politely which line was she on when she stepped in front of me as if to get in my way of standing in one of the two cashiers who had two customers each on line with them. She apparently was trying to save a place on both lines, and was calling out to a young teen boy to come over and "place an order" and he refused three times, each time louder, that he wasn't going to go over and stand with her.
Maybe she wasn't having a good day, but she certainly picked the wrong person to take out her sour attitude on when I asked her what line was she on. So when she replied "There's one line," with attitude, rolling her eyes up and pursing her lips, I said, "Oh? There's two registers open here," "I said there's ONE line," she raised her voice. I went over to to the cashier on the left and asked, "Hi, is there one line or two?" "Well, actually, I was trying to close out, so...." said the cashier making some explanation. I replied, "OK, no worries," and went to the back of the line. No attitude given to the cashier, none to the snarky person who was rude to me. I thought it squashed, but the woman decided to keep talking and referencing me jumping the line. "I didn't jump the line, I'm standing behind you." I answered, after hearing her lip.
She kept talking, so I just decided to stare at my phone, shrug and decide to ignore her. She's an idiot, and I'm not going to engage. Or so I thought.
She gets to place her order and proceeds to continue to bitch about me to the cashier woman I spoke to just a minute or so before. "No one jumped ahead of you, I'm right here," I said, shaking my head. Then she started calling me the b-word. "Calling me names is not going to help here," I said, "No need for it." "Fuck you b'" she went on. "Notice I didn't call you names, so there's no need to get rude," I replied. "I will say what I want, what are you going to do?" She at first goes she's not going to waste her time putting her hands on me, and I was like, "Yeah, yeah yeah, get your burger and leave." And she kept yapping, talking about putting her hands on me, and I told her, "Are you thinking of getting physical? Ask yourself if handcuffs are worth losing a Big Mac over. I don't have time for your b.s." "F-k you" she says, calling me the b word and I go, "How original and clever you are, my my." And I'm shaking my head, and trying not to lose it with her, but once she started talking physical threats about putting her hands on me, I had countered with the handcuffs, and when she kept talking, again about me cutting in front of her, I again said, nothing like that happened, you are now making shit up because I have not cut in front of you, and you had a stank attitude from the minute I met (her). If you have a bad day that's not my problem, I did nothing to you, and you've been nothing but verbally abusive. You must've thought by looking at me I was going to shut up and let you talk your nonsense but once you talk physical threats, all bets are off. You wanna get physical, the police station is three blocks down, how about it?"
I just wanted her to get her burger and get out and leave me alone. She decided to start walking around like she's in a boxing ring or a Jerry Springer episode and her young son or whatever was telling her to calm down and telling me not to answer her, and I tell him, the reason why she feels she can attack a stranger like this is because she is really angry at you for not coming to her when she told you to come over and stand in line with her. That's what started all this so she has to understand that if you have a bad day or are angry, you just don't go and take it out on another person because she might not like the consequences of her actions.
And she's still ranting, and the woman cashier who claimed to be shutting down, stayed to apparently watch the whole thing, and seemed to try to empathize with the ranting woman, and the woman kept yakking about getting physical with me and I said "STOP YOUR LIES. GET YOUR BURGER and SHUT THE FUCK UP, enough already," my ghetto came out, and it was on.
It was time for me to order, and I was like, "where's her burger? I'm done with her b.s.," and the woman cashier invites me to go to her for my order. This meant walking up to be RIGHT NEXT to the ranting woman, and I didn't hesitate to walk right up. Now was the time to see if this woman was going to do something or not. "Why you got to stand right up next to me?" she starts, and I put my hand up as if to place a wall between me and her for her to shut up, and I focus on the cashier and state that I'd like a burger and fries, medium Coke. I had to repeat myself three times while ranting woman is yelling in my ear. At any time she could've put a finger on me and she knew I had already told her, one touch and it was off to jail we go.
I stood my ground, was amazingly calm and showed her why I was 'standing right next to her' -- the cashier was RIGHT there, in the very same vicinity! This actually made the ranting woman pause, and I placed my order for the FOURTH time. The cashier was like, "I"m trying to be polite, and ask what you want," she began. And I nodded and said, "I'm trying to place my order but I have someone screaming in my ear, can you see why that's hard?" And the cashier goes, "Yes, I know," and I was thinking, bitch, don't start with me, because you and none of your lackeys are doing anything but gawking and laughing and enjoying the show. No one is lifting a finger to do anything, not that I expected anyone to, these are people working minimum wage jobs and probably see drama like this every week, but if the cashier thought she was doing me a favor by sticking around to take my order she was full of shit herself. She was staying to watch the show too.
In the end, the woman left with her burger, her young companion ushering her out, probably relieved that no one was going to jail tonight, and I got my meal. The cashier goes I should have risen above it, and I looked at her, and said, "I don't expect anyone to come forward from here to straighten things out. She was in the wrong, and apparently thought by the looks of me that I was some lily white that wasn't going to answer back and just shrivel up scared. Looks can be deceiving. Perhaps she'll think twice to not judge someone by their outward appearance and take her attitude elsewhere. She wants to act ghetto, then you get ghetto back, that's all she seemed to understand. I tried talking, that didn't work. I'm here for a meal like everyone else. That's all I'm saying." The cashier seemed to realize the point I was making when I looked her in the eye about judging people from their appearance.
I went home, feeling annoyed but I was still determined not to let it affect me. I was ready for whatever I was going to find outside but there was no one around save for a family getting into their car. I went home, feeling my body heat from the anger from the situation. I would have to shake off this negativity from that stranger somehow. When I got home, I gave the story to my cousin, who was like, "You should have called me, you know I would've been there," and I said, "She was one dial away from the cops, and I left it up to her how she wanted it go down, she had ample opportunity to bring it and she didn't, just a blowhard who was either having a shitty day or a shitty life."
So we talked it out and soon I was laughing a bit, although my nerves fantasized about belting that stupid woman a good one for even threatening a total stranger physically, talking out of her neck only leads to tragedy, I thought. I don't have to do anything. Karma will pay her ass a visit. It's a small world, so we might even meet again. Maybe this time she'll be contrite, naturally horrified at her behavior. It's happened. Or maybe not. Not holding my breath.
Which leads me to my original thought. There will be people out there, as I become more visible, who will try to start shit, just for the sake of it, to get their name in the papers, to try to sue me by instigating shit. Stuff will pop up on TMZ and YouTube. Ew. Am I ready for that? Really ready? First off, I assume I won't be living where I've been living all my years, and that I will be in a different place. But do the people really change when the salary or standard of living does? Something to ponder as well.
So I know...most times, I'm able to keep my mouth shut, but there will be times when I won't. I wonder how bad it will be. I don't want it to be. I was heated when I talked about it with my cousin. It's several hours later and I'm still wondering what the hell is it about me that certain people just seem to come to want to try to kill my joy. In my email then appeared the script for the next project. OMG! I'm happy again, pensive, still dwelling a bit thoughts swirling, but feeling a bit better.
Still, there are times that I think I hate stupid people.
Hate is such a strong word I think. Then. Sooooo appropo.
Fuck the haters. Moving on. Looked over the script. Need to work on an accent. *grin*
Fuck negative thoughts. Need to find a way to release this anger. ARggggghhhhhh!
So I thought about the warm inviting room versus the cold sterile one I was in, and I could immediately see how actors are already put at a disadvantage, and how casting people can be easily bored or distracted, wanting to get out of that sterile boring room!
Anywho, I met with all the actors for the potential role that was up for grabs. I read another person's part in order to give the person someone to react and read off of, and for some it worked, some needed work, and at least two really didn't have anything and weren't radiating any energy. The one that looked very much like the role was nice, but he was just...there was nothing. I was looking for the give and take, to see what he could do, and he seemed to be more interested in learning the lines and be able to say them from memory when he was clearly stuck and getting worse. We stopped, and calmed him down, and assured him he could read from the script, and we moved forward. Again, I was not feeling him, but it was not my decision anyways.
After seeing the various actors, I was asked my thoughts, and I gave them. The director had his mind set on one guy in particular, and for some reason, although I do recall reading well with him, I couldn't grasp his name. I couldn't help but notice the director had his name right on his tongue, so I couldn't help but get the impression that he already knew the guy and wanted him before he even read. So...we'll see how that goes.
What came out of it as well, was an invite to do a reading with some cast members for another film, or play, I think, not sure. So I went home, happy, satisfied I showed my face and helped out.
I have a smile on my face, happy as can be, and apparently that bothers other people who don't feel that way or are jealous about it. A woman acted very rudely towards me when I asked rather politely which line was she on when she stepped in front of me as if to get in my way of standing in one of the two cashiers who had two customers each on line with them. She apparently was trying to save a place on both lines, and was calling out to a young teen boy to come over and "place an order" and he refused three times, each time louder, that he wasn't going to go over and stand with her.
Maybe she wasn't having a good day, but she certainly picked the wrong person to take out her sour attitude on when I asked her what line was she on. So when she replied "There's one line," with attitude, rolling her eyes up and pursing her lips, I said, "Oh? There's two registers open here," "I said there's ONE line," she raised her voice. I went over to to the cashier on the left and asked, "Hi, is there one line or two?" "Well, actually, I was trying to close out, so...." said the cashier making some explanation. I replied, "OK, no worries," and went to the back of the line. No attitude given to the cashier, none to the snarky person who was rude to me. I thought it squashed, but the woman decided to keep talking and referencing me jumping the line. "I didn't jump the line, I'm standing behind you." I answered, after hearing her lip.
She kept talking, so I just decided to stare at my phone, shrug and decide to ignore her. She's an idiot, and I'm not going to engage. Or so I thought.
She gets to place her order and proceeds to continue to bitch about me to the cashier woman I spoke to just a minute or so before. "No one jumped ahead of you, I'm right here," I said, shaking my head. Then she started calling me the b-word. "Calling me names is not going to help here," I said, "No need for it." "Fuck you b'" she went on. "Notice I didn't call you names, so there's no need to get rude," I replied. "I will say what I want, what are you going to do?" She at first goes she's not going to waste her time putting her hands on me, and I was like, "Yeah, yeah yeah, get your burger and leave." And she kept yapping, talking about putting her hands on me, and I told her, "Are you thinking of getting physical? Ask yourself if handcuffs are worth losing a Big Mac over. I don't have time for your b.s." "F-k you" she says, calling me the b word and I go, "How original and clever you are, my my." And I'm shaking my head, and trying not to lose it with her, but once she started talking physical threats about putting her hands on me, I had countered with the handcuffs, and when she kept talking, again about me cutting in front of her, I again said, nothing like that happened, you are now making shit up because I have not cut in front of you, and you had a stank attitude from the minute I met (her). If you have a bad day that's not my problem, I did nothing to you, and you've been nothing but verbally abusive. You must've thought by looking at me I was going to shut up and let you talk your nonsense but once you talk physical threats, all bets are off. You wanna get physical, the police station is three blocks down, how about it?"
I just wanted her to get her burger and get out and leave me alone. She decided to start walking around like she's in a boxing ring or a Jerry Springer episode and her young son or whatever was telling her to calm down and telling me not to answer her, and I tell him, the reason why she feels she can attack a stranger like this is because she is really angry at you for not coming to her when she told you to come over and stand in line with her. That's what started all this so she has to understand that if you have a bad day or are angry, you just don't go and take it out on another person because she might not like the consequences of her actions.
And she's still ranting, and the woman cashier who claimed to be shutting down, stayed to apparently watch the whole thing, and seemed to try to empathize with the ranting woman, and the woman kept yakking about getting physical with me and I said "STOP YOUR LIES. GET YOUR BURGER and SHUT THE FUCK UP, enough already," my ghetto came out, and it was on.
It was time for me to order, and I was like, "where's her burger? I'm done with her b.s.," and the woman cashier invites me to go to her for my order. This meant walking up to be RIGHT NEXT to the ranting woman, and I didn't hesitate to walk right up. Now was the time to see if this woman was going to do something or not. "Why you got to stand right up next to me?" she starts, and I put my hand up as if to place a wall between me and her for her to shut up, and I focus on the cashier and state that I'd like a burger and fries, medium Coke. I had to repeat myself three times while ranting woman is yelling in my ear. At any time she could've put a finger on me and she knew I had already told her, one touch and it was off to jail we go.
I stood my ground, was amazingly calm and showed her why I was 'standing right next to her' -- the cashier was RIGHT there, in the very same vicinity! This actually made the ranting woman pause, and I placed my order for the FOURTH time. The cashier was like, "I"m trying to be polite, and ask what you want," she began. And I nodded and said, "I'm trying to place my order but I have someone screaming in my ear, can you see why that's hard?" And the cashier goes, "Yes, I know," and I was thinking, bitch, don't start with me, because you and none of your lackeys are doing anything but gawking and laughing and enjoying the show. No one is lifting a finger to do anything, not that I expected anyone to, these are people working minimum wage jobs and probably see drama like this every week, but if the cashier thought she was doing me a favor by sticking around to take my order she was full of shit herself. She was staying to watch the show too.
In the end, the woman left with her burger, her young companion ushering her out, probably relieved that no one was going to jail tonight, and I got my meal. The cashier goes I should have risen above it, and I looked at her, and said, "I don't expect anyone to come forward from here to straighten things out. She was in the wrong, and apparently thought by the looks of me that I was some lily white that wasn't going to answer back and just shrivel up scared. Looks can be deceiving. Perhaps she'll think twice to not judge someone by their outward appearance and take her attitude elsewhere. She wants to act ghetto, then you get ghetto back, that's all she seemed to understand. I tried talking, that didn't work. I'm here for a meal like everyone else. That's all I'm saying." The cashier seemed to realize the point I was making when I looked her in the eye about judging people from their appearance.
I went home, feeling annoyed but I was still determined not to let it affect me. I was ready for whatever I was going to find outside but there was no one around save for a family getting into their car. I went home, feeling my body heat from the anger from the situation. I would have to shake off this negativity from that stranger somehow. When I got home, I gave the story to my cousin, who was like, "You should have called me, you know I would've been there," and I said, "She was one dial away from the cops, and I left it up to her how she wanted it go down, she had ample opportunity to bring it and she didn't, just a blowhard who was either having a shitty day or a shitty life."
So we talked it out and soon I was laughing a bit, although my nerves fantasized about belting that stupid woman a good one for even threatening a total stranger physically, talking out of her neck only leads to tragedy, I thought. I don't have to do anything. Karma will pay her ass a visit. It's a small world, so we might even meet again. Maybe this time she'll be contrite, naturally horrified at her behavior. It's happened. Or maybe not. Not holding my breath.
Which leads me to my original thought. There will be people out there, as I become more visible, who will try to start shit, just for the sake of it, to get their name in the papers, to try to sue me by instigating shit. Stuff will pop up on TMZ and YouTube. Ew. Am I ready for that? Really ready? First off, I assume I won't be living where I've been living all my years, and that I will be in a different place. But do the people really change when the salary or standard of living does? Something to ponder as well.
So I know...most times, I'm able to keep my mouth shut, but there will be times when I won't. I wonder how bad it will be. I don't want it to be. I was heated when I talked about it with my cousin. It's several hours later and I'm still wondering what the hell is it about me that certain people just seem to come to want to try to kill my joy. In my email then appeared the script for the next project. OMG! I'm happy again, pensive, still dwelling a bit thoughts swirling, but feeling a bit better.
Still, there are times that I think I hate stupid people.
Hate is such a strong word I think. Then. Sooooo appropo.
Fuck the haters. Moving on. Looked over the script. Need to work on an accent. *grin*
Fuck negative thoughts. Need to find a way to release this anger. ARggggghhhhhh!
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
The more things change...the more they stay the same
Finally....after two long years of just solidly doing background and commercial work -- yes finally graduated to doing commercial gigs, amen and hallelujah -- I finally got a co-lead role on a web series. And in the mail I got...the INVITE. From the union, to join. I am now eligible to join. I was a bit surprised, and also felt like crying. This was something that should have been in my hands eons ago. Yet here it is, finally, in my hand, that's my name on the envelope and on the letter, right home address. Oh my GAWD.
Never in a million years did I think I would ever get to this place. But I did it. Finally! Of course, having made some working contacts, and putting my wish out to the universe for something to put on a reel, this came into being. I am so grateful, satisfied, and with the feeling "it's about damned time!" added to it.
Next step? I could sit and enjoy this, savor it. Yes, I sure could. And I will. Then it's off to start making more commercial money in order to go union. I also need to add some more tasty meaty roles while still nonunion in order to build up the resume. While I love background work and it will always have a place in my heart, my humble beginnings, I must also push forward and move up.
And I must frame this letter. Lordy. I'm eligible!!!!
Never in a million years did I think I would ever get to this place. But I did it. Finally! Of course, having made some working contacts, and putting my wish out to the universe for something to put on a reel, this came into being. I am so grateful, satisfied, and with the feeling "it's about damned time!" added to it.
Next step? I could sit and enjoy this, savor it. Yes, I sure could. And I will. Then it's off to start making more commercial money in order to go union. I also need to add some more tasty meaty roles while still nonunion in order to build up the resume. While I love background work and it will always have a place in my heart, my humble beginnings, I must also push forward and move up.
And I must frame this letter. Lordy. I'm eligible!!!!
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Found myself on a blistering hot Saturday
For an Alan Ball project that's supposed to come out on Cinemax sometime in 2013. I was excited because I am a fan of his work -- Six Feet Under and True Blood, anyone? I felt it was worth doing the exterior BG work. I was pleased to get contacted for it, and by 5 am I was checking in just a couple of blocks from the place I was born and grew up. So it was really cool. It was a dramatic scene which involved a cool Camaro (in black of course) and screeching of tires, stuntsman running and 'shooting guns' and dodging 'bullets'. It was pretty awesome! I found myself running and acting surprised and scared as if I was experiencing it all for the very first time. Twenty takes, and I was still keeping it fresh. What helped was having some fun familiar faces to run and act with in BG. I felt very grateful to be relatively healthy and in shape to run for each and every take. Some people didn't bother, some claimed they had bad knees and strolled, not even breaking their conversation about something unrelated to what we were doing, but I would just keep it going. Because this means something to me. Something more.
Had an audition earlier in the week, a casting agency saw me on line at a casting site and invited me in. I made them laugh, and it seems they liked what they saw. Whether the client actually did is yet to be seen. I think I nailed it. Meanwhile, I see them posting for background people. I haven't heard anything. Oh well. Keeping it moving. I submitted for the BG just in case as it's a good rate.
Sigh.
Looking for a day job in the meantime as well as continuing to submit for work. There's a three day gig coming up and I am continuing to submit myself every time I see a casting submission link somewhere about it. Already three times. Let's see what happens. Plus put in for Boardwalk as they're looking for people, and I bide my time and be patient, because I want to get back onto working that one too. I liked that one a lot, and the clothing and attention to detail was awesome.
I cut my hair to chin length because it's summer. I hemmed and hawed about it for two months because I was wondering to hold on to the length just in case Boardwalk calls. Well, if they call, there's hair pieces and if anything, my hair style now is considered very early 1920's anyway. Have to do something about my eyebrows. Just got them done over a week ago and they are already fuzzing. New guy worked on them, as my usual person went and sold the place out and didn't let us know where she was going! She took most of the staff with her too! Sheesh!
Well, back to the mines, my friend.
Had an audition earlier in the week, a casting agency saw me on line at a casting site and invited me in. I made them laugh, and it seems they liked what they saw. Whether the client actually did is yet to be seen. I think I nailed it. Meanwhile, I see them posting for background people. I haven't heard anything. Oh well. Keeping it moving. I submitted for the BG just in case as it's a good rate.
Sigh.
Looking for a day job in the meantime as well as continuing to submit for work. There's a three day gig coming up and I am continuing to submit myself every time I see a casting submission link somewhere about it. Already three times. Let's see what happens. Plus put in for Boardwalk as they're looking for people, and I bide my time and be patient, because I want to get back onto working that one too. I liked that one a lot, and the clothing and attention to detail was awesome.
I cut my hair to chin length because it's summer. I hemmed and hawed about it for two months because I was wondering to hold on to the length just in case Boardwalk calls. Well, if they call, there's hair pieces and if anything, my hair style now is considered very early 1920's anyway. Have to do something about my eyebrows. Just got them done over a week ago and they are already fuzzing. New guy worked on them, as my usual person went and sold the place out and didn't let us know where she was going! She took most of the staff with her too! Sheesh!
Well, back to the mines, my friend.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Lack of focus...
Oh dear freakin' Lord. Since the Glee ep, work has been slow. I took an office job, temping, and it gets depressing. I feel time is ticking. But I must pay the rent and must start going to find a new photographer that's not going to cost me an arm and leg that'll take a decent headshot and commerical pic to last me for the next couple of years. I also just cut my hair, so time is of the essence. I also continue to wage an inner dialogue about my weight and continue to snag an oppty here and there to go to a zumba class or sneak in some arm curls. The focus is just not there. Boredom is setting in and I've no idea what the next step is. It seems a constant chase for elusiveness and maybe two seconds of showing up in something. While showing up in something is good, and I have been getting noticed, as a BG you are not supposed to stand out, so even BG I'm like....failing. I shake my head as I write this because I didn't want to admit that. There are times I wonder if I'm just being a delusional fool, that if others thought I was really talented, they would've helped me. But in the end I have to help myself and not look for someone to save me. I continue on this journey to go after what I want and be happy because life is too damned short to be miserable at something that keeps the wolves from the door but gives nothing to the soul.
Sunday, May 6, 2012
The New Normal
Worked on a hush hush t.v. project and couldn't believe what it was -- we were told when we were checked in and sitting in holding by the PA's making a general announcement. Awesome! I would post it here but I am trying to avoid having some one having a reason to sue me, so I will play the avoid-y card for now. Waiting now to see the upcoming The Big C episode I did BG work on. Should be happening this week or next. Been watching the 2-2, and have yet to see me show up in the background. Read that A Gifted Man got canned, so there goes a former gig in NYC for me. I worked that one a few times as BG.
Meanwhile, I took on a temp job with abysmal pay, nowhere near what I was making before. It's really bad out there, and the temp agencies are letting us know it by undercutting our pay "to stay competitive" and they've got temps even running scared. I figured I would do this one gig, and it turns out it's like a two month gig, and I kept my comments to myself, just merely nodded my head and kept all my answers positive. After this, I will have to raise my amount or lower the amount of time I am working a gig so I can continue to work my BG stuff as that is what makes me happy and sane, believe it or not.
I have not gone union, despite the mad rush of others to go, because I simply did not have the money to do so. The money's not there, and I've already had discussions with family as to where everyone else's money is going because I keep working and no matter how much I make, whether I work in an office or in BG or whatever, it just seems to disappear and I'm still hearing how we're behind in our bills.
AUGH!
Meanwhile, I took on a temp job with abysmal pay, nowhere near what I was making before. It's really bad out there, and the temp agencies are letting us know it by undercutting our pay "to stay competitive" and they've got temps even running scared. I figured I would do this one gig, and it turns out it's like a two month gig, and I kept my comments to myself, just merely nodded my head and kept all my answers positive. After this, I will have to raise my amount or lower the amount of time I am working a gig so I can continue to work my BG stuff as that is what makes me happy and sane, believe it or not.
I have not gone union, despite the mad rush of others to go, because I simply did not have the money to do so. The money's not there, and I've already had discussions with family as to where everyone else's money is going because I keep working and no matter how much I make, whether I work in an office or in BG or whatever, it just seems to disappear and I'm still hearing how we're behind in our bills.
AUGH!
Sunday, March 25, 2012
work work and more work
Late December, January and part of February were pretty quiet. Thought I was going to tear my hair out. Been jobhunting like crazy, and for a few nibbles, all's quiet. Everyone has a wish list but can afford to be choosy over who they want for the paltry salary they're waving. Pisses me off.
Meanwhile, I work for minimum wage. At least BG is interesting. Worked on Smash several times, Gifted Man, The 2-2, (now called NYC 22), L&O SVU, The Big C and Unforgettable. Finally was able to break out the nurse scrubs for an unnamed project, let's see what happens with that. A fellow BGer decided to take the plunge, got his AFTRA waiver and decided to go union. I'm happy for him, really.
I continue to job hunt as well as apply for part-time jobs and submit for auditions. I am really hustling best I can and staying positive.
Meanwhile, I work for minimum wage. At least BG is interesting. Worked on Smash several times, Gifted Man, The 2-2, (now called NYC 22), L&O SVU, The Big C and Unforgettable. Finally was able to break out the nurse scrubs for an unnamed project, let's see what happens with that. A fellow BGer decided to take the plunge, got his AFTRA waiver and decided to go union. I'm happy for him, really.
I continue to job hunt as well as apply for part-time jobs and submit for auditions. I am really hustling best I can and staying positive.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
woot woot! things have been in a whirl
Have been getting some regular work via Grant Wilfley and Central Casting. Even got gig from Liz Lewis for my first music video. Can't complain. Came off the summer finishing on Boardwalk Empire's second season, the year 1921, and have already seen myself twice! AiEEEEEE! It's so awesome! Several people, non-actors and fellow BGers, saw me as one of the protesting maids for the season 13 premiere (Scorched Earth ep.) of Law & Order SVU. I even heard myself, I was very featured, it was awesome.
I got a call for more background work, and found myself on Gifted Man (again I appeared on camera but crossing the street, oh well). I have been submitting for Nurse Jackie but nothing has come of it. I mean, I have scrubs, I can play a visitor, nurse, or patient. I could even do pedestrian again. I meet others that manage to get on that set and they tell me to just keep trying, and keep submitting. So I keep submitting.
Worked an unforgettable two days on Unforgettable. We're talking 15 hour days a piece. A lot of waiting around, in order for them to set up cameras to make the show as special as it is as the main character has something like photographic memory so a scene has to be filmed multiple times from different ways.
The spring and summer came and went. By the end of August, I had a week off, just to relax in time for the long holiday weekend. But I was itching. I wanted to keep the momentum going. I got another call from SVU, and off I went to play a basketball mom for a young teenager in a banquet scene. It was very nice, and they fed us, and the scene went well and the director was thrilled it went along smoothly and let us know it. We were even thanked by one of the main guest star actors, and we got to see some famous basketball players like Carmelo Anthony. The boys that were with me and other "mothers" were thrilled and starry eyed, it was funny to see.
Meanwhile, I kept submitting for roles. Went on auditions, and didn't put too much stress on myself for it. I had fun, and read my lines, and just went with it. If I didn't get a call within a week, I didn't stress about it. I would continue to submit for new jobs, and then I got some paid audience work so I wasn't about to have the time to dwell and brood over things. Got work on some independent films and was happy to have fun playing the curvy woman who shows up at the wedding kind of thing and just had fun.
Now I have an early morning calltime, and I had to go to a fitting over a week ago in order to go to this. It's been really exciting, but early morning call times can be a challenge. I have no idea how many people are going to be in the scene tomorrow but I am going to continue to be strong, stay focused, and stay positive.
Did I also mention I started doing the 1,600 a day for the month of November challenge? I couldn't even summon a 1,000 words, only over 600. I put it on draft. Sloooooowww beginning indeed.
I got a call for more background work, and found myself on Gifted Man (again I appeared on camera but crossing the street, oh well). I have been submitting for Nurse Jackie but nothing has come of it. I mean, I have scrubs, I can play a visitor, nurse, or patient. I could even do pedestrian again. I meet others that manage to get on that set and they tell me to just keep trying, and keep submitting. So I keep submitting.
Worked an unforgettable two days on Unforgettable. We're talking 15 hour days a piece. A lot of waiting around, in order for them to set up cameras to make the show as special as it is as the main character has something like photographic memory so a scene has to be filmed multiple times from different ways.
The spring and summer came and went. By the end of August, I had a week off, just to relax in time for the long holiday weekend. But I was itching. I wanted to keep the momentum going. I got another call from SVU, and off I went to play a basketball mom for a young teenager in a banquet scene. It was very nice, and they fed us, and the scene went well and the director was thrilled it went along smoothly and let us know it. We were even thanked by one of the main guest star actors, and we got to see some famous basketball players like Carmelo Anthony. The boys that were with me and other "mothers" were thrilled and starry eyed, it was funny to see.
Meanwhile, I kept submitting for roles. Went on auditions, and didn't put too much stress on myself for it. I had fun, and read my lines, and just went with it. If I didn't get a call within a week, I didn't stress about it. I would continue to submit for new jobs, and then I got some paid audience work so I wasn't about to have the time to dwell and brood over things. Got work on some independent films and was happy to have fun playing the curvy woman who shows up at the wedding kind of thing and just had fun.
Now I have an early morning calltime, and I had to go to a fitting over a week ago in order to go to this. It's been really exciting, but early morning call times can be a challenge. I have no idea how many people are going to be in the scene tomorrow but I am going to continue to be strong, stay focused, and stay positive.
Did I also mention I started doing the 1,600 a day for the month of November challenge? I couldn't even summon a 1,000 words, only over 600. I put it on draft. Sloooooowww beginning indeed.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
quiet week
Although there have been postings, the most activity was yesterday to submit, the bottom line is, it's right before the holiday weekend so castings will slow down. At least this is what I am telling myself as this happened the last time right around Memorial Day. Can't believe it's already hitting on the Fourth of July weekend and I have no inclination to do anything special. Just can't muster the strength to go or do anything. Just want to rest under the covers with my dogs and have the television cable ready along with a tall glass of ice and soda. I don't even feel like eating to be honest, although I did break down yesterday and went to the supermarket to pick up some odds and ends. Food is just not that interesting to me lately yet I can't seem to lose any weight.
Did manage to water the container garden. The only thing showing right now is the basil. Sigh. Well, at least it's something.
Continue to look for work and also office work, got some leads. We'll see how it goes. Have to be ruthless about what I want as no one seems to be handing out anything to me, gotta earn it my self. As usual.
Did manage to water the container garden. The only thing showing right now is the basil. Sigh. Well, at least it's something.
Continue to look for work and also office work, got some leads. We'll see how it goes. Have to be ruthless about what I want as no one seems to be handing out anything to me, gotta earn it my self. As usual.
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