It feels like something is going to hit the fan. The vibe at home feels kind of down. There's a low drone. Sometimes things feel like they're closing in all around. Claustrophobic choking feeling. Everyone seems to be in a weird mood. I keep reminding myself that this too, shall pass. Today the weather is on the cool side but grey. I don't mind if it rains today.
Checked my emails and submitted away for potential gigs. So far, no reply. Will keep on keeping on and stay the course. Keep focus.
Showing posts with label energy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label energy. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Friday, May 15, 2009
sad news
Just got word from a fellow BG'er that another BG'er was found dead in her apartment yesterday. I refused to believe it and asked this BG'er if she had her number to call her, and see who picks up. I'll call her N. She considered it, and I could sense N. really didn't want to call, but what other choice did we have other than to sit and wait and speculate ourselves into a tizzy?
I waited about ten minutes, maybe fifteen then called back. Although N. didn't say if she called the number, she relayed another BG'er was calling her in a state of distress, about the one who died. The husband had been calling her and the calls went unanswered so he went over to her place and found her dead.
A part of me is still finding this hard to believe, this woman who was literally so vibrant and full of life. I always thought when I would hear this from other testimonials on others who died, that it was a cliche and that they had run out of original things to say. Instead, I know that it's true. She was bawdy, had no filter, and would say things that another person would not get away with. She made me laugh. She shared the same philosophy about the world, that it was magical, that everything happened for a reason, that if you want something, you just need to focus on that and work on making it come to you. She told me during one of our conversations just two days ago that she felt she and I were alike in our thought and energy regarding working towards our goals. I remember it felt good to hear that and I agreed with her. We were talking with another BG'er who was struggling to find her way and I remember how the struggling BGer linked us all together as we walked to set, arm linked to another's back as we walked three abreast.
When I heard the news initially I thought it was a joke. A brutal nasty messedup joke from some prankster that had nothing else better to do. But it seems to be true. And I am just looking at this muggy day and wondering. Another situation that drives the point home. Life's too short to be miserable. Find ways to enjoy it while you can.
I waited about ten minutes, maybe fifteen then called back. Although N. didn't say if she called the number, she relayed another BG'er was calling her in a state of distress, about the one who died. The husband had been calling her and the calls went unanswered so he went over to her place and found her dead.
A part of me is still finding this hard to believe, this woman who was literally so vibrant and full of life. I always thought when I would hear this from other testimonials on others who died, that it was a cliche and that they had run out of original things to say. Instead, I know that it's true. She was bawdy, had no filter, and would say things that another person would not get away with. She made me laugh. She shared the same philosophy about the world, that it was magical, that everything happened for a reason, that if you want something, you just need to focus on that and work on making it come to you. She told me during one of our conversations just two days ago that she felt she and I were alike in our thought and energy regarding working towards our goals. I remember it felt good to hear that and I agreed with her. We were talking with another BG'er who was struggling to find her way and I remember how the struggling BGer linked us all together as we walked to set, arm linked to another's back as we walked three abreast.
When I heard the news initially I thought it was a joke. A brutal nasty messedup joke from some prankster that had nothing else better to do. But it seems to be true. And I am just looking at this muggy day and wondering. Another situation that drives the point home. Life's too short to be miserable. Find ways to enjoy it while you can.
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