quiet week

Although there have been postings, the most activity was yesterday to submit, the bottom line is, it's right before the holiday weekend so castings will slow down. At least this is what I am telling myself as this happened the last time right around Memorial Day. Can't believe it's already hitting on the Fourth of July weekend and I have no inclination to do anything special. Just can't muster the strength to go or do anything. Just want to rest under the covers with my dogs and have the television cable ready along with a tall glass of ice and soda. I don't even feel like eating to be honest, although I did break down yesterday and went to the supermarket to pick up some odds and ends. Food is just not that interesting to me lately yet I can't seem to lose any weight.

Did manage to water the container garden. The only thing showing right now is the basil. Sigh. Well, at least it's something.

Continue to look for work and also office work, got some leads. We'll see how it goes. Have to be ruthless about what I want as no one seems to be handing out anything to me, gotta earn it my self. As usual.

readying for the week

I am resisting. I have an audition for a weight loss show. At the time I wrote to them it seemed to be a pretty good idea. I know I am not camera ready but do not have the inclination or discipline to see it through to exercise every day. I'm too busy letting myself worry about how to pay the rent and this puts me in a negative mindset that is hard to break out of when there's the reality of bills every month or every week. As an actor, there are bills for paying for casting sites, that are a bit of a crap lottery in that you submit your ticket in hopes of getting your name called. Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't. There are bills for the occasional acting related class, whether it's a how to on submitting to casting agencies or an acting method. Then there's the whole being "camera ready" -- going to a gym to tone up and 'lessen' the body and going to a dentist to keep the smile bright and healthy, it all adds up. This is one of the few fields where you initially invest a ton of money and then hope for the best. It's like the stock market.

Back to life. There was little work last week. This week sounds a bit quiet. Feeling a bit unnerved although I shouldn't be, I should be grateful. I continue to submit but the posts are few and far between. Union members seem to be getting more of the gigs now, which is good, I would hate to pay thousands of dollars and sit at home waiting for the phone to ring then it hardly ever does. Talk about stock market...

So now I continue to look for work, keep myself busy somehow, and not worry. Most important. To not worry. Although I do find myself checking out the want ads for regular office work.

You know. Just in case.

The whole point of doing student films

The whole point of doing student films is to gain experience in front of the camera and to ACT. It is to have lines, build a character, and interact with other characters. It is NOT for me to stand around and color a background. I have been there, done that, and need to expand my experience. Telling me that you will provide "credit, maybe food" does not get noticed by future casting offices. Telling me that you will provide a "reel" when 99 out of 100 times I will never get it and you will lie to me about sending it or simply disappear or not respond, tells me that I really have to back off doing anything that is NOT really going to help me. I am all fine about helping you, but it needs to be a mutual helping here, a meeting of the minds so to speak. Don't lie to me or overinflate who or what you think you are or about your precious project that most likely will never see the light of day beyond a classroom assignment. And also don't try to entice me with words like "will be considered for future projects which MAY have pay" or "we'll remember you or keep you on file for future projects". What are the odds of what is otherwise a complete stranger coming back to me to offer me a more juicier acting role in the future in a film that WILL see the light of day beyond the high school or college campus? Buddy please.

Save us time and simply get to the truth. But if you do, be prepared to not get anyone to do what you want them to do. Especially for free and no pay off of any kind, professional or otherwise for them. Then call your friends and family and give them food and drink for taking time out of their own precious lives to help you make your dream come true. Because in the end, it's not about the talent, but about your own interests, fuck what can be done for us who in reality, are strangers helping YOU out.

I am simply tired of unprofessionals, greedy fucks and liars. May they all rot in hell.