indulging and doing my part for the economy

Maybe it was the weather. Maybe it was because I've been working on a steady rhythm with gigs. Combination? I don't know. I had been staring at a dress in a clothing store I pass almost every day from the train station going home. After several months of this dress teasing me from the window, I went in and decided to try it on. Mind you, I don't like trying on clothes in stores, simply out of modesty...and you always hear about these hidden cameras.

Yet try it on I did. And it looked so pretty on me. I admit I got a little giddy. And went to purchase the dress in two colors. Then I saw this beautiful vision of another dress hanging on a rack above my head across the store, and immediately went "oooohhhh!" I tried it on and it fit perfectly.

I suddenly found myself checking their layaway policy and putting down a sizable amount for the three dresses. I didn't want to think, I viewed them as a necessary part of my acting wardrobe if need be, and walked out of the store clutching my receipt, a bit emptier in the wallet and no dresses to show of.

"That's the first time I put a chunk of money down and came out with nothing," I whispered, half-choking, as T and I exited the store and into the sunshine of a pretty spring day. "You deserve it," T said, "You could have just bought one dress if you wanted that though!" I wondered if I had done the right thing, and T dragged me from the store, saying that I had done just fine, no worries.

And I floated to the next shop, still thinking about how I ended up putting money down for not one or two but three dresses. Wasn't that a bit extravagant?

Could buying such dresses mean a sign of hope for me? Well, it was done.

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Have been hunting for gigs and calling places, checking in, letting casting directors know I'm available, alive and well, ready to work. Kept checking for auditions.