Lack of focus...

Oh dear freakin' Lord.  Since the Glee ep, work has been slow.  I took an office job, temping, and it gets depressing.  I feel time is ticking.  But I must pay the rent and must start going to find a new photographer that's not going to cost me an arm and leg that'll take a decent headshot and commerical pic to last me for the next couple of years.  I also just cut my hair, so time is of the essence.  I also continue to wage an inner dialogue about my weight and continue to snag an oppty here and there to go to a zumba class or sneak in some arm curls.  The focus is just not there.  Boredom is setting in and I've no idea what the next step is. It seems a constant chase for elusiveness and maybe two seconds of showing up in something.  While showing up in something is good, and I have been getting noticed, as a BG you are not supposed to stand out, so even BG I'm like....failing.  I shake my head as I write this because I didn't want to admit that.  There are times I wonder if I'm just being a delusional fool, that if others thought I was really talented, they would've helped me.  But in the end I have to help myself and not look for someone to save me.  I continue on this journey to go after what I want and be happy because life is too damned short to be miserable at something that keeps the wolves from the door but gives nothing to the soul.