Found myself on a blistering hot Saturday

For an Alan Ball project that's supposed to come out on Cinemax sometime in 2013.  I was excited because I am a fan of his work -- Six Feet Under and True Blood, anyone?  I felt it was worth doing the exterior BG work.  I was pleased to get contacted for it, and by 5 am I was checking in just a couple of blocks from the place I was born and grew up.  So it was really cool.  It was a dramatic scene which involved a cool Camaro (in black of course) and screeching of tires, stuntsman running and 'shooting guns' and dodging 'bullets'.  It was pretty awesome!  I found myself running and acting surprised and scared as if I was experiencing it all for the very first time.  Twenty takes, and I was still keeping it fresh.  What helped was having some fun familiar faces to run and act with in BG.  I felt very grateful to be relatively healthy and in shape to run for each and every take.  Some people didn't bother, some claimed they had bad knees and strolled, not even breaking their conversation about something unrelated to what we were doing, but I would just keep it going.  Because this means something to me.  Something more. 

Had an audition earlier in the week, a casting agency saw me on line at a casting site and invited me in.  I made them laugh, and it seems they liked what they saw.  Whether the client actually did is yet to be seen.  I think I nailed it.  Meanwhile, I see them posting for background people.  I haven't heard anything.  Oh well.  Keeping it moving.  I submitted for the BG just in case as it's a good rate. 

Sigh.

Looking for a day job in the meantime as well as continuing to submit for work.  There's a three day gig coming up and I am continuing to submit myself every time I see a casting submission link somewhere about it.  Already three times.  Let's see what happens.  Plus put in for Boardwalk as they're looking for people, and I bide my time and be patient, because I want to get back onto working that one too.  I liked that one a lot, and the clothing and attention to detail was awesome.

I cut my hair to chin length because it's summer.  I hemmed and hawed about it for two months because I was wondering to hold on to the length just in case Boardwalk calls.  Well, if they call, there's hair pieces and if anything, my hair style now is considered very early 1920's anyway.  Have to do something about my eyebrows.  Just got them done over a week ago and they are already fuzzing.  New guy worked on them, as my usual person went and sold the place out and didn't let us know where she was going!  She took most of the staff with her too!  Sheesh!

Well, back to the mines, my friend.

Lack of focus...

Oh dear freakin' Lord.  Since the Glee ep, work has been slow.  I took an office job, temping, and it gets depressing.  I feel time is ticking.  But I must pay the rent and must start going to find a new photographer that's not going to cost me an arm and leg that'll take a decent headshot and commerical pic to last me for the next couple of years.  I also just cut my hair, so time is of the essence.  I also continue to wage an inner dialogue about my weight and continue to snag an oppty here and there to go to a zumba class or sneak in some arm curls.  The focus is just not there.  Boredom is setting in and I've no idea what the next step is. It seems a constant chase for elusiveness and maybe two seconds of showing up in something.  While showing up in something is good, and I have been getting noticed, as a BG you are not supposed to stand out, so even BG I'm like....failing.  I shake my head as I write this because I didn't want to admit that.  There are times I wonder if I'm just being a delusional fool, that if others thought I was really talented, they would've helped me.  But in the end I have to help myself and not look for someone to save me.  I continue on this journey to go after what I want and be happy because life is too damned short to be miserable at something that keeps the wolves from the door but gives nothing to the soul.

The New Normal

Worked on a hush hush t.v. project and couldn't believe what it was -- we were told when we were checked in and sitting in holding by the PA's making a general announcement.  Awesome!  I would post it here but I am trying to avoid having some one having a reason to sue me, so I will play the avoid-y card for now.  Waiting now to see the upcoming The Big C episode I did BG work on.  Should be happening this week or next.  Been watching the 2-2, and have yet to see me show up in the background.  Read that A Gifted Man got canned, so there goes a former gig in NYC for me.  I worked that one a few times as BG. 

Meanwhile, I took on a temp job with abysmal pay, nowhere near what I was making before.  It's really bad out there, and the temp agencies are letting us know it by undercutting our pay "to stay competitive" and they've got temps even running scared.  I figured I would do this one gig, and it turns out it's like a two month gig, and I kept my comments to myself, just merely nodded my head and kept all my answers positive.  After this, I will have to raise my amount or lower the amount of time I am working a gig so I can continue to work my BG stuff as that is what makes me happy and sane, believe it or not. 

I have not gone union, despite the mad rush of others to go, because I simply did not have the money to do so.  The money's not there, and I've already had discussions with family as to where everyone else's money is going because I keep working and no matter how much I make, whether I work in an office or in BG or whatever, it just seems to disappear and I'm still hearing how we're behind in our bills. 

AUGH!

work work and more work

Late December, January and part of February were pretty quiet. Thought I was going to tear my hair out. Been jobhunting like crazy, and for a few nibbles, all's quiet. Everyone has a wish list but can afford to be choosy over who they want for the paltry salary they're waving. Pisses me off.

Meanwhile, I work for minimum wage. At least BG is interesting. Worked on Smash several times, Gifted Man, The 2-2, (now called NYC 22), L&O SVU, The Big C and Unforgettable. Finally was able to break out the nurse scrubs for an unnamed project, let's see what happens with that. A fellow BGer decided to take the plunge, got his AFTRA waiver and decided to go union. I'm happy for him, really.

I continue to job hunt as well as apply for part-time jobs and submit for auditions. I am really hustling best I can and staying positive.